Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Matt Brewing Company's Saranac Irish Red Ale

Life is full of lessons. I learn a shitload from my dad but you can find them almost anywhere; books, lectures, magicians. You might even get one from some handsome man like myself. If that's the case listen up. Ahem. Don't eat popsicles until you've finished your beer. Sorta like "You don't get no dessert until you finish your vegetables" but better. So I'm a beer and popsicle connoisseur and I found out last night that it's way smarter to eat your popsicles AFTER your beer. I can really go for a popsicle right now though.

I talked about Matt Brewing company here in case you want any background on them. I like their "no nonsense" site where they just ask you if you're over 21 or under 21 instead of your actual birthday, cuz A.) Who the heck can remember their birthday after a few and B.) Who the heck wants to scroll all the way down the columns to put their exact date in? I think the last time I put my actual birthday in a website was on my 21st birthday. I thought the C.I.A. was spying on me. But what did I know? I was just a dumb kid. Now I'm just a dumb adult. Some chick called me a "man" yesterday. Boy was she off!

So their malts used in this are 2-Row and Crystal. They also use Vanguard hops, if you're into that sorta thing. This yields an ABV of 4.5% and an IBU of 17. Now here's the thing with this rascal, and I mean that I'm a loving sense. Most Irish Red beer have a rich, tinted head like Charles Barkley on them where this does not. That means one thing, that it doesn't have a thick, full bodied malty taste, you turkey! That makes it more drinkable but I mean if you want a drinkable booze go down to the deli and grab yourself a wine spritzer or something. They advertise on their site that most people that aren't "beer drinkers" say they like their Irish Red. Then they also said they are mostly women. Yeah. They called you out ladies. No more Zimas with Jolly Ranchers for you! Man, I remember one time in High School I drank some Zimas after eating a whole pound of M&M's. Long story short I vomited and it straight up looked like chaw in the toilet. And those thin candy shells, that make it so they melt in your mouth and not in your hands; well, if you eat them fast enough you find out they don't melt in your mouth or in your stomach, and tear the shit out of your throat going back out of you!

So maybe we learned two lessons today? Oh, yeah, the beer.

So yeah, this beer, that is a bigger hit with the ladies than myself, has a sweet toffee and caramel scent to it. And they advertise that it has a taste more-or-less as complicated as long division; remainder NOTHING! I dunno. It's true that you can't put a single taste on this booze. It's sweet, a touch of hops, with some floral and toffee tastes but by the time you make up your mind about what it tastes like, the taste is out of your mouth.

This girl is light and easy to drink and compliments the variety pack I bought for $14 but at 4.5% ABV and it's" less than appealing" crisp taste for and Irish Red, may make me look the other way when picking out a beer. Good enough to like, not good enough to love.

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 4/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 5/10

Overall: 5.25/10

Other Saranac Brews:
Irish Stout
Pale Ale
Brown Ale
Amber Ale


  1. Doing the Technicolor yawn of Zima and M&M's 'eh?

  2. It's really an informative and well described post regarding Irish red beer . I appreciate your topic for blogging. Thanks for sharing such a useful post.