Saturday, July 30, 2011

Abita Brewing Company's Wheat Lager

This is another beer out of Abita Springs, Louisiana. I talked about the boozery back here when I covered their "less than appealing to men" Purple Haze. If the "Purple Haze" is the hippy-horseshit art student who went to Berkeley and majored in drum circles, this is her brother, in his final year at Harvard Law School. This baby has a crisp, refreshing taste; clean cut, reliable, reasonable, and responsible, like myself. I'm confident in my masculinity so I tossed a lemon slice in there; so I like fruit in my beer, wanna wrestle or something?

They use Pilsner (Pilsnerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!) and Wheat malts with Perle hops. Now this is a bit different than most wheat beers as this is brewed as a lager, not an ale and is filtered unlike certain cuss-machines or fight magnets. Its got an IBU of 15, I think distilled water has an IBU of 16, and an ABV of 4.2% which is less than appealing. This stuff is so easy to drink it's borderline retarded; I almost wish it was a little harder to drink and a little harder on the alcohol. Bold Statement #1: I can drink 12 of these in under 45 minutes. Bold Statement #2: Then I can steal more bases than Ricky Henderson and Otis "Nose Candy" Nixon combined. Now like I said I added a lemon, and the website actually suggests the same, so I can't review the core flavors until I finish my first one.

It has a soft, wheaty scent and a mild, dry, wheat taste. It's so mild that once you swallow it you can hardly taste it. I think I've actually used that line somewhere else. If you are into a wheat tasting beer no fruit is required, but I'm afraid for the common man, that the taste might be too dry. I'll roll a lemon deep when you team up with this baby, just in case. I mean it's better to be prepared, right?

This is a super beer when it's super hot and your whistle is drier than a Ray Romano stand-up performance. Ideal for after a meal, given that they are so light. Or if you and your buddy are playing grab ass by the pool or playing home run derby with a handful of pirates. This is something you can get into as far as a 12-pack is concerned. You can drink 12 of them pretty easy and it won't get old or weigh you down. I picked up a 12-pack sampler from Abita for $15 bones. It's got a flavor that can appeal to the men or ladies. Personally, I wouldn't share it. You can use this baby as a great trade beer early on when your friends pick up a 12 pack of something heavy. Be careful when you slam this though, a 12-pack can go down like "that" and you'll end up sleeping in a bush with wanguses on yourself. I also dig the no nonsense label on it. Their most popular beer is Turbo Dog so when the ladies see you rolling in with this sucker they are gonna be like "oh no mister what do you got heerreeee!!" Seriously.

Other Abita Beers:
Jockamo IPA
Restoration Pale Ale
Purple Haze IPA

Drinkability: 10/10
Taste: 7/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 7.0/10

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