Monday, October 19, 2015

Staropilsen Bruncvík Original Czech Lager

You know you aren't a pilsen until you are a Staropilsen. Crank this to the max!

Staropilsen, which I assume is pronounced exactly like it's spelled, hails from the Czech Republic; one of my favorite republics. It's somewhere between "Congo" and "Banana". Remember that movie? Just a friendly reminder that even Tim Curry does some regrettable things.

What can I tell you about this brewery? Answer: not much. Their website is about as useful as a hot babe in a mansion full of Orlando Bloom clones. (not useful at all). I can tell you this, they use their own barley and Saaz hops on this bastard along with soft artisan water; which makes me wonder what I've been drinking from other breweries. I don't think Schlitz uses soft artisan water.

But its a lager and it's from the Czechs. The beer has a dry European taste common for eastern Europe lagers with a crisp, floral scent. It has a light head that dissolves quickly and leaves you with a beer ready for chugging. And can you chug it? Yes you can! Yes you can!

I'll tell you two things I like about this beer. Numero uno: dirt cheap. The kinda cheap that makes you not expect beer from soft artisan water. I got this 0.51 litre beer for under two bucks which, shit, can't remember the last good thing I got for under two bucks. But they also give you a half a litre of beer ±0.01 litre; and the scientist in me likes that tolerance. Especially when it's lingering around the upper control limit!

Shits and grins aside, this beer is decent at best. I couldn't see myself crushing a zillion of these. The bottle looks cool and it has a cool name. Plus if you roll up to a ceremony rocking a Staropilsen, all the honeys be like "who dat playa?" and they'll be talking about you! You'll be the player! You player!

Drinkability: 6/10
Taste: 4/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall: 5.75/10