Thursday, July 14, 2011

Full Sail Brewing Company's Session Lager

This has bad news written on it from the Get-Go! ILTS never commends alcoholism nor do we think it's a good idea to slam cases of beer to impress girls or your friends. We slightly condone keg stands, monkey chugs, shotguns, screaming flamers, flaming doctor peppers, mulch diving, C3P0in' Up, and magicians. We are somewhat amused buying gin and whip cream shots for friends with insults on the napkins below them. And this beer, THIS BEER, has disaster brewed into it at an atomic level. It is also pretty tasty.

Ask yourself this question: What's the worst game AFTER tic-tac-toe?

The answer: Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Ask yourself this question: Why is it so fun to play when they are printed on the bottom of beer caps?


Now my hat is off to Full Sail Brewery for this scam, and that's exactly what it is people. What they do is take a beer, make it really easy to drink so any jerk can easily slam tons of these suckers, make it stronger than average, 5.1% ABV, to impair our judgement that we shouldn't pound beers to play a very elaborate game of RSP, and make their bottles 11oz's to even go through them faster. I honestly want to say my friend and I went through 8 bottles in the span of a half hour. I'm the one winning by the way.

Full Sail Brewing Company started in 1987; the same year "Sweet" Lou Whitaker helped take the Detroit Tigers to the best record in the MLB. It fired up in Hood River, Oregon which is, in my opinion, the second or third best state to pump out beer, after California. Their flagship beer is their Amber Ale, which I've had before and had no idea the same brewery made Session, which was publicly released in 2005. Based on volume alone, Full Sail is actually in the top 10 largest craft brewery in the US and top 20 in all breweries. It doesn't take a scientist to tell you that a heck of a lot of rock, paper, scissors!

In 1999, Full Sail become completely an employee owned joint; consisting of 47 members. They regularly host fundraisers for disease awareness and pet-adoption and everything in between. Located in a gorge, they also have tons of events that inherently make you sweat; which is not my cup of tea. I might pay them a visit if they have a SimCity competition or something equally slothful.

This beer is real light tasting and almost tastes like a combination of a summer ale and lager. I'm not sure about the hops on this bad boy but there's almost a citrus-like taste to it. It's got an IBU of 18 which is essentially a warning to patrons that you can suck these bastards down with nearly no effort. It's actually more of an effort to stop drinking these. It essentially smells like a lager, as light as Butt Light, though tastes clearly better. This is a great "lawn-mowing" beer so all the ladies out there, pick this up for your husband or whatever and he'll be able to suck these back in the sun. Just feed him one about every 15 minutes and he won't complain though you may find him passed out in the yard he recently cut.

In conclusion, great "beat the heat" beer and a very light tasting lager. I picked up a 12 pack for $15.99 which is better than making out with Orlando Bloom, if you are a guy; better than making out with Betty Crocker if you're a dame. The RPS makes these things disappear when drinking with friends though I can see how this would be really depressing to drink if you are by yourself. I'm sorta depressed just thinking about it. Anyone who knows anything about beer knows Session's street cred is through the roof so if you roll over to a party with a case of this you will be welcomed with open arms and maybe a kiss or two.

Drinkability: 9/10
Taste: 6/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10 (minus 1 for 11oz bottles)

Overall: 6.5/10

3 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. yeah, still mad about those gin shots. the waitress apologized when she gave it to me. i should have known
    ...

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  3. i thought those woulda been for snatchelder, not you Nick, sorry you got busted!

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