Carlsberg Brewery's Baltika Dark Lager

From the largest brewery in Eastern Europe and second largest, after Heineken, in all of Europe, I present Baltika Dark Lager. At first glance the beer appears to have a nice head on it so you think this lager might be a little heavier than most, which excited me, however, after the first sip, the flavor of the beer almost completely disappeared from my mouth. Actually, the more beer you drink, the more it stays in your mouth, so be patient when drinking. It has the smell of a overly sugary beer but rest assured, this lager does not have a lasting taste that will make your face cringe like getting a kiss from your old ass grandma. The taste is surprisingly light for such a dark beer, but average for a typical lager; maybe below average actually. The dark appearance and sweet smell are typical of the rye and caramel malts used in this Russian lager.

Apparently, this is the biggest beer export out of Russia, though I couldn't imagine Ovechkin or Ivan Drago slamming this beer down. They got like a dozen beers, and they numbered them, hence the 4 on the label. This is actually a really boring beer in general. Even the history of the beer and label and the taste is all bland. It's like reading stereo instructions. Like, I can't even make any jokes about it and it sort of bothers me. I mean it's 5.6% ABV which is above average and it only cost me $2.50 for a 500mL bottle. So I mean the potential is there to get more wrecked than Alexander Ovechkin at the NHL Skills Competition. This isn't a bad investment if your looking to get pretty drunk for cheap actually. It's stronger than average and not too bad tasting and cheaper than most hookers.

Drinkability: 6/10

Taste: 4/10

Value: 8/10
Curb Appeal: 3/10

Overall: 5.25/10