Goose Island Brewery's Mild Winter Ale

So here I am, minding my own business on a late Saturday afternoon and I says to myself, "Why the heck don't I run through some of these Goose Island beers before the big Owen show". So here I am. I been real pleased with these characters. You might have remember about them when I covered their brewery in this review.

My overall opinion has been that Goose Island is at this point, the best brewery I've tasted in Chicago, though that my prove to be the Chex Mix "Bold and Zesty" hasty generalization of the month. But I mean not picking up a sampler from these guys is about as smart as sticking your dangus in car door; I mean "C'mon".

I like this winter ale, it isn't as heavy as most winter ales, but it does say "mind winter" not "wild winter". It goes down pretty fast and has a nice clean head on it contrasting its dark, brown appearance. So this won't be as heavy as a stout, porter or even Neil Diamond's brother. It's got a nice toffee, caramel flavor. If you swish it in your mouth like a floozy at a frat party you'll immediately notice a subtle, mildly butter, nutty flavor to this beer; really good. The aroma is a sweet, choco-toff-amel scent that is more complex than long division to a 3rd grader.

The ABV is 5.6% with an IBU rating of 28, which makes it 100 points less bitter than Burt Reynolds in "Cop and a Half"; that stone, cold glare he had during that movie; Jesus! They use Tettnang and Willamette hops; I never heard of Tettnang but it is probably pretty good. Malt includes are Carapils, Dark Chocolate, 2-Row, and Roast Barley.

This beer is a cousin, in my opinion, to the Snow Cap Ale that Pyramid puts out around the same time of the year. Not a cousin like "Gail the Snail" or some cousin you might hate. But like a cousin that you think is pretty cool, but you aren't really cousins, which is good in case you ever kissed on accident, you know? I mean a lot worse things happen in West Virginia so I don't know why everyone is on MY case!?!?

...that kind of cousin.

So, I don't know if I could drink a whole case on this watching the Blackhawks get shut out by St. Louis, but it's a great addition to this sampler. It's got a great taste and at $13 for a 12 pack, you'd have to be as smart as Philip Rivers in the final two minutes of a football game to not buy this.

Drinkability: 7/10

Taste: 7/10

Value: 8/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 7.25/10


Other Goose Island Reviews:
Goose Island Harvest Ale
Goose Island Sofie Belgian Farmhouse Ale
Goose Island India Pale Ale
Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat Hefeweisen
Goose Island Kilgubbin Irish Red Ale

Peter Straub's Special Dark

So, you say you long for a beer that tastes like late autumn, football, hockey, beards and fires in fireplaces? BOOM. Straub Special Dark in yr MOUTH! Made in beautiful St. Mary's, PA, this amber delicacy is a great full bodied lager that warms you up in all the right places, kinda like a Snuggie that you can sip. And from a brewery founded in 1872 that boasts an eternal tap that comes out of a freaking rock, you probably shouldn't expect anything less than greatness. Peter Straub is responsible for all of this. Here is the most interesting google image result for Peter Straub:



I am blaming this greatness solely on haunting and magic.

Straub's Extra Dark offers some really unique tastes in a dark lager that somehow, despite the color and taste, is surprisingly drinkable and doesn't make you feel like you downed a christmas ham when you drink 4 beers. I'm really quite bad at describing tastes accurately and more of a fan of describing them with an event, (See Brooklyn Pennant Ale's description of tasting like a twinight double header at forbes field) so ill say that Straub's Extra Dark tastes a lot like sitting on a giant, overstuffed leather couch in front of a fireplace in a luxurious hunting cabin after a bow hunting excursion while watching a hockey game at 5pn when it's already dark. Kinda like that.

And in true Straubers fashion, a case of these bad boys was a great value, running me about 22 bucks for a case of bottles at the local distro, If only they would come in returnable bottles. One can dream.

So, if you like a transcendental experience while you suck down a few beers, grab some of these, put on a flannel, and check out for a few hours.

Goose Island Brewery's India Pale Ale

Hey turkeys, this is a review of Goose Island's IPA. Now you might remember I talked about Goose Island here, so I won't go into that again.

I am not too into IPAs, as you might know, but I tell ya, I've tasted a few in the past year that is really starting to change my mind. Now this is not a strong IPA, it only has 55 IBUs, so that's probably why I like it; beer that have IBUs in the 80s and higher, that's where I draw the line. They use Syrian, Fuggle, Cascade and Centennial hops; but apparently they use them in moderation.

It's got a nice golden color with a clean, medium head. The smell is bittersweet, with a grassy undertone. The taste is crisp and refreshing. It's fullbodied and has a medium hop flavor to it. It has a bitter aftertaste that you would expect from a IPA. Again, I got a sampler at the grocery store for $13 for a 12 pack, so you'd have to be a total loser to not buy this! Most of their beers have decent alcohol percentages and the IPA doesn't disappoint at 5.9%.

Everything I've had from these guys has been real rad so I'd suggest picking up this variety pack to anyone who has the necessary means to. The sampler ranks among the best samplers I've ever had. If you ever visit me, make me buy this for you.

Drinkability: 6/10

Taste: 6/10

Value: 8/10
Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall: 7.0/10


Other Goose Island Reviews:
Goose Island Harvest Ale
Goose Island Sofie Belgian Farmhouse Ale
Goose Island Mild Winter Ale
Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat Hefeweisen
Goose Island Kilgubbin Irish Red Ale

Goose Island Brewery's Harvest Ale

Jack this shit to max volume as you read.

Before anyone gets too excited about this review, let me preface this by saying Goose Island was bought out by Anheuser -Busch which was later bought out by those Belgians InBev. So, it's always unfortunate when a good brewery gets bought out by Belgians.

Goose Island opened their first brew-pub in 1988 in Lincoln Park located in Chicago, Illinois by John Hall (not the guitarist for Orleans). Remember that song, "Still the One"? That song rocks so hard! A second brew pub opened in 1995 in Wrigleyville (also in Chicago) which was way bigger than the first. They served booze and food at these places, stuff like rabbit, duck, crap like that. They got over a half dozen regular beers and roll out seasonals all the time. They have tours all the time of the brewery (the first one) and also pump out a few types of soda also, though I hear the soda is not as good as the beer. Also, the beer gets you drunker than soda.

So I kept hearing from people when I moved here I should try some Goose Island and were pretty adamant about it. So I said to myself, I said "What the heck do I have to lose?" So I picked up a twelve pack of this Harvest Ale for like $13 bucks; I mean that's only like a dollar a beer. Only a great fool would pass up a deal like that. I am a learned man, so naturally I bought it with a smile. So I went home and cracked one of these suckers open and OH BABY! It was tasty.

This is one of the Extra Special Bitter beers available August to November. It's got an ABV of 5.7% and an IBU rating of 35 (their IPA has a rating of 80 so 35 isn't too bitter). This copper beauty has a thick rich head on her and the bubbles are tanned, so you know before tasting it's gonna be jacked with flavor. The taste delivers. It's brewed with cascade hops so it has a slightly bitter aftertaste, like if you were drinking a pale ale, but the caramel, pale, and wheat malts give a rich, full bodied flavor in your mouth, so the aftertaste isn't all hoppy. The smell is really pleasant. A sweet, malty aroma that is representative of the taste.

So I mean a dollar a beer, for 5.7% ABV, and a brand of beer known Illinois-wide as a quality microbrew is a pretty good deal overall. And even though it's now owned by InBev, I'll continue to try their stuff. It's good stuff.

Drinkability: 7/10

Taste: 8/10

Value: 8/10
Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall: 7.75/10


Other Goose Island Reviews:
Goose Island Sofie Belgian Farmhouse Ale
Goose Island India Pale Ale
Goose Island Mild Winter Ale
Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat Hefeweisen
Goose Island Kilgubbin Irish Red Ale

Keweenaw Brewing Company's Widow Maker Black Ale

Turn this shit on and chill out as you read this dope review.

So with a name like Widow Maker Black Ale, only prestigious puss-bags like Billy Cundiff wouldn't try it out at least once. So as the tap illustrates all i knew about this stuff is that it sounded cool and was black, like E2.

So Keweenaw Brewing Company makes this stuff who are not a group of cub scouts working child labor making beers. Its actually a collaboration between DICK Gray and Paul Boissevain located in Houghton, Michigan. They serve beer mostly in Michigan and Wisconsin, so, if you are the majority of the sane people in the USA, you'll never see this beer. They have 5 core beers and a few seasonals that change out every 3 months or so, give or take a day, if its leap year. They have a crapload of special beers of their pubs scattered up in Michigan but you better stop by Little Caeser's beforehand and get a "Hot and Ready" for $5 because they don't serve food there. Like, they aren't the best pizzas, obviously, but you can't afford to not eat it. They're taproom looks actually pretty rad, and you can get drafts for $2.50 so, for $10, you get two beers AND a pizza; best deal ever! If anyone gives you shit about bringing in a pizza into their pristine taprooms, tell them "I Love The Sauce said it's cool" and we'll deal with them later.

Keweenaw Peninsula is the northernmost peninsula of Michigan making it the highest Michigan Wang in Lake Superior and was home to the first copper boom in the United States; and who doesn't like copper?

As far as the beer goes, as the picture clearly depicts, this is a dark beer, but is an ale; thought it does sort of look like a porter, except for the light head. It has a sweet, weak scent and has a nutty, sweet, coffee taste. It's crisp and refreshing, which isn't necessarily good for a dark beer. If you are looking for a dark, full bodied, beer; look elsewhere. But this stuff is good if you are looking for a dark, refreshing beer. It's 5.2% ABV and runs about $5 a pint. I had one of these and tried something else. It wasn't bad, but not mind blowingly radical.

All of Keweenaw's can's look pretty bad ass and if you have some of this stuff around, people from Wisconsin or Michigan will be pretty impressed with you, which means nothing in real life.

Drinkability: 6/10

Taste: 4/10

Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 5.0/10

Guinness Brewery's Smithwicks Irish Red Ale

Smithwicks is from Kilkenny, Ireland and if taken in large doses can really make you wasted off beer, one of my favorite thing beer does. This stuff was brewed in St. Francis Abbey by Saint Abby Francis until 2000. Before that time monks would brew beer and stuff as I'm sure if anyone knows anything about monks it's A.) They brewed tons of beer B.) They have the most strength in Final Fantasy I and the most obvious, and deadly thing, C.) My mom loves to watch them on TV. It's like, monks were the coolest people back in the day. If I could go back in time, I'd totally wanna be a monk after high school. You never hear guidance councilors push that profession; they know it's too cool!

Pete Guinness bought out Smithwick's in 1965 and was like, "Yeah, this sounds like a good idea." So he's been pushing it out the door since then and it was only like 3.8% and American were like, "Hey, if we're gonna drink this stuff you gotta make it a little stronger, ya boneheads!" so they made it 4.5% ABV over here, which is still low for such a full bodied ale.

It's pushed by Guinness, and probably Alec Guinness, so you'll see this all over the place, as I'm sure you already have. I didn't really see it out much until like 6 years ago where I drank it and was like "OMG, ROTFL!" which clearly means I liked it.

It's got a full bodied taste, like, you don't wanna slam this out in the desert, unless they were serving it on that ship Jabba the Hut had in Return of the Jedi where R2-D2 was serving drinks. I mean that place was probably air conditioned. But it's got a caramelly sweet, nutty taste to it. They call it a red, but it looks brown to me. Like, real brown. It smells great, sweet nutty aroma. The one issue I have with it is that douchebags used to always order Guinness at bars, and now douchebags order this to disassociate with the Guinness douchebags.

I order it when I'm in a bar with a bunch of Miller Lite or Belgians everywhere, cuz let's face it folks, if you order anything from Guinness, especially Harp, you're going to be labeled a douchebag and you probably are a douchebag. So go drink this, douchebag.

I feel bad, because it is tasty. But douchebags ruined this. Just like like women ruined voting and that guitar player no one knows ruined Weezer. That guy probably drinks Smithwick's. Oh, if you do order it, call it "smizth-icks" of you'll look like a real jabroni! It's like $8 sixer. $6 for a pint at a bar; you do the math Einstein!

Drinkability: 5/10

Taste: 7/10

Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 4/10

Overall: 5.00/10

Redhook Long Hammer IPA

What's that? You thought this blog was dead? Well you are wrong m f'er! See, the one thing that the writers on this blog have in common (besides being devishly handsome) is that we can be LAZY. Sorry to all you sorry sons of bitches who got used to reading wonderfully funny and inarticulate beer reviews every day. LIFE HAPPENS. But we're back! At least for this one post.

Red Hook Brewery started in Seattle in 1981. I love Seattle. It's probably the best city in the world (I haven't been to Tripoli but I can assume Seattle > Tripoli). Unlike most craft beers, you can get Redhook beers pretty much anywhere, as it is sold in 48 states of the great U S of A. They even have breweries on both sides of the country, one in Woodinville, WA, and one in Portsmouth, NH. The one thing in common between Woodinville and Portsmouth, besides brewing Redhook? Vampires.

The Redhook Long Hammer IPA is a tasty IPA, clocking in at 44 IBUs and 6.5% ABV. It's not the best IPA in the world (again, never been to Tripoli), but it's not the worst either. It has a nice floral, citrus, hoppy flavor, and given the relatively low IBUs, its easy to drink a couple in a row (like 3 in one minute). I got a variety pack on sale on the local Teet for $13.49, a fine deal in my book. The case also included their Pilsnerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, ESB, and Copperhook (one of the items that you can acquire in The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past). Plus the bottles are differently shaped than normal beer bottles. They are more stout and have a shorter neck, kind of like that Jamaican shit Red Stripe. Just not as shitty.

Go out and get the Redhook variety pack, or just get a six-er of the Long Hammer IPA. You're guaranteed to like it, or your money back (not sure who will give you your money back though, so good luck with that, wang).

Drinkability: 7/10

Taste: 7/10

Value: 6/10

Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 6.5/10