Wychwood Brewery's Hobgoblin English Ruby Ale

With a beer tap like this, only a great fool would not order this at a bar or maybe the jivest of all turkeys. With the exception of the tap, this beer was also $4 at a bar, which was their monthly special and all the other beauties in the line-up, not counting Bud Light, were $5, so the economist in me obviously went with the Hobgoblin.

So Wychwood Brewery is jammed in Witney, England, not to be mistaken with Whitley, Duane Wayne's on-again off-again babe from "Diff'rent World". It's like, why did I ever watch that show? Remember Kriss Kross was on there once; man, those kids were tough.

So John Clinch opened a brewery there, right, and pretty much coined the insult "son of a banker". In all honestly, I think his name was something else, but opening a brewery was so clutch and a sinch that he changed his name. Then, like everything in the 80's, it was sold to some dude who called it the Eagle Brewery, and later was renamed to the Wynchwood brewery in the 90's when everyone agreed Eagle Brewery sounded stoopid.

This was all after Hobgoblin was created (1988) for some dudes daughter's wedding. This stuff was so popular that they opened up like 60 pubs over there selling it along with other libations, which is a good idea, because I personally don't see what people see in this stuff.

This stuff his the charts at 5.2% ABV. It's pretty dark, with a light sweet scent. The taste is a watered down, bitter, flavor wit ha very dry finish. i mean this beer goes down pretty easily, but I really think it'd be good with like, toast, or something like that. It isn't anything that you'd like, want to eat with chicken, or beef, or potatoes. It's sort of a fruity, Belgian style beer; in my opinion. I've found that most of the times a beer has some sort of character that looks like he might be on a Magic: the Gathering card, the beer is usually a poopy nightmare.

If you like a sourish, dark looking beer that tastes light with some citrus hints to it, you might like this beer. I dunno, the English seem to always like maybe their beers as bitter as their demeanor and watered down as their weather. I'd pass on this if I saw it again, but not if the only other choice was that Bud Light.

Drinkability: 6/10

Taste: 3/10

Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 4.75/10

Budwesier Budvar Brewery's Czechvar Lager

So I was talking about the logic behind the phrase "budweiser" in European parlance here so I'm not gonna get into that chickenshit bull crap.

Long story short, this is not owned or related to Anheuser-Busch. It's a Czech beer.

So the brewery that makes this stuff started up in 1785 and started exporting it to the US about 100 years later. During all this time, Anheuser-Busch and Budvar got in 1 million lawsuits over the name "Budweiser". Both sides eventually lost interest and they name stayed.

The brewery itself makes about 5 different types of booze; pale ales, lagers, dark, strong, and your gay brother's favorite, non-alcoholic. I'll say this about the beer, it looks real clear and light, low head, and a sparkling presence about it, like Cinderella, or David Bowie. It has a sharp, hoppy scent to it and a crisp, dry, refreshing taste. If you drank these in middle school, you could probably pround one between class pretty easy. Keeping it cold would be a problem, you don't want to deal with all the ice when it melts, so maybe you'd have to get into some sort or battery powered freeze pack that you could retrofit on your bookbag. Plus you could keep other stuff cold. Like sandwiches and stuff.

I got half a liter of this stuff for $3 in a Chicago grocery store. I was like, "What the heck is the deal here?" and I picked it up with no hesitation. The ABV is 5% so I was as excited as hearing there could be a Proclaimers reunion concert. So it goes down real easy, like your sister, and its like, man, what would happen first? Run out of money or get drunk? Cuz this stuff goes down fast and I'm super thirsty!

The bottle looks okay. I'm more about stuff that looks obnoxiously classy or completely dirtbaggish. This just looks...normal. And that's cool, if you're an accounting major!

Drinkability: 8/10

Taste: 6/10

Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 4/10

Overall: 6.0/10

Belhaven Brewery's Scottish Stout

Belhaven began brewing back in 1719, which started on a Sunday if you are into the Gregorian calendar like me; probably not. The location of the brewery was specifically set to avoid the damn Dunbar Council tax so it was impost-free; the best type of free.  They had some stiff competition in Scotland but by 2005, they were the oldest game in town and older always means better. They only had about 4 regular beers to their arsenal but now have over a dozen in their lineup.

Rumor has it they they might have started brewing beer pre-12th century by presumably some old ass monks but that isn't documented anywhere. They sold the family business in 1972 (initially started by John Johnstone) and when that shit went down, they really started pumping out some beers.

So this is their Scottish Stout hitting the scales at 7% ABV and $6.00 a pint and, between you and me, this is a great substitution to eating. This thing is a meal in itself, a delicious meal.  It has the flavor of toasted nuts and malts with a mix of coffee, chocolate and toffee. It's got a bitter aftertaste and is smoother than me after 12 Busch Lights.

It's darker than a Edgar Allan Poe short story read by Vincent Price in a coal mine in the Congo; dark.

It's got a good head on it, like your reviewer, and it's real thick, and a malty, frothy goodness. This has been labeled as "Guinness's Worst Nightmare" and is of a comparable style. It's way cooler than Guinness because it isn't Guinness.

Would I get it again? Heck yes I would. Would I drink it on a 10 mile bike ride, well, probably not. It's heavy, delicious and full flavored but not good for drinking when you are mowing the lawn. I wish I would have came across this in the winter. By stout standards this is a winner. You aren't going to be able to chug these but they aren't designed for chugging before you go to a varsity basketball game, you n00b.


Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 9/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall: 7.5/10

Great Lakes Brewing Company - Alchemy Hour Double IPA

Talk about your summer IPA's, this one is like the tropics in a glass, if the tropics were full of alcohol, which in my experience they are.

I know, I know, Nick does another Great Lakes review, well deal with it! If it ain't broke, don't fix it! The boys from Cleveland do it again with this gem. It's a nice hazy light amber/orange with a bitterness and ABV (9.4%) that will knock you off your stool (or couch, or toilet, wherever you choose to enjoy). The nose is bitter and sweet with the scent of tropical fruits, and the finish does hold true to the smell.

Now let me tell you, I have experimented in drinking these all night, and they will knock you on your ass. So if you like that feeling, which is why im guessing you're on this site, go ahead and slam em.

Keep an eye out for this one, and keep an eye out for it as a different name. Currently there is a lawsuit that is making them change the name because some beer bums decided to copyright the name "Alchemy" in any beer name. Sounds dumb to me, somehow they won, but i'm no lawyer.


Malts:
-Harrington 2-Row
-Caramel 45
-Honey malt

Hops:
-Nugget
-Mosaic
-Cascade

Other Great Lakes Beer Reviews
Lake Erie Monster IPA
Conways Irish Ale
Commodore Perry IPA
Eliot Ness Lager
Rye of the Tiger IPA
Christmas Ale

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 7/10

Goose Island Brewery's Kilgubbin Irish Red Ale

Hey there. This is another beer from Goose Island Brewery. We first reviewed these characters in this review. Living in Chicago, or anywhere else these days, it's hard to avoid this stuff. And you know where it's real hard to avoid it? The Wrigleyville Goose Island Brewpub. If you're looking for this beer at your local watering hole you might have a pinch of an issue, as this is brewed in the brewpub, one of the dozens there, and I'm pretty sure these jags don't serve it at your parent's dive bar.

The name itself does have some Chicago history. Kilgubbin itself is a part of Ireland and when Irish immigrant came to the States, the loaded up around Goose Island, which was the only island located in the Chicago River, formed by a canal from some old dude who was trying to achieve something or other. So, long story short, Kilgubbin was another name for the island Goose Island. Did you know that? Probably not. Do you care? Even less likely.

As far as flavor, its pretty tasty.  It's got a slight bitterness and hop to it. Sweet caramel flavoring with a slightly sour snap to it. It's got a medium body to it, which I don't entirely like. I prefer a heavier, malty consistency; something you can enjoy with a nice stogie. This left a little to be desired.  Though, I've been pretty unhappy with my red ales as of late. It's as disappointing as when you buy rechargable batteries and they go back after like 10 recharges. It's like "I know I've changed these out way more often than regular batteries" and you end up buying the 18 pack of Rayovac for $8.00 because 18 batteries will outlast your own life, unless you're really into radio-controlled cars.

You can tell my the head in the picture that it's not going to be a malty pleasure. It's certainly cloudy enough to fool even the most experienced aficionado (boozehound).

The beer itself is 5.1% ABV so for $6 a pop, it won't be throwing bricks through their windows in the middle of the night to get my filthy mitts on it after hours. I mean, do you know how many batteries you could buy with that? If I go back, I'd probably try one of their many other offerings. Don't hate it; don't love it.


Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 4/10
Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 4/10

Overall: 4.75/10

Other Goose Island Reviews:
Goose Island Harvest Ale
Goose Island Sofie Belgian Farmhouse Ale
Goose Island India Pale Ale
Goose Island Mild Winter Ale
Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat Hefeweisen

Compañía Cervecera de Puerto Rico's Magna Special Craft Lager

So I drank this beer a few month ago because I found myself in a situation where I was too lazy to review beers. Yeah. ME! So I scribbled all sorts of down in my phone and figured I'd spice it up with my tireless banter later. Great idea, huh? Well, all I wrote was "5.1%, dry floral, $5, smells sandy" and I don't know what "smell sandy" could even mean.

So I had this down in Puerto Rico and apparently this bottle cost $5. So I'll tell ya right now, that's a pretty average price for a beer down there and this stuff is usually cheaper than your domestic beers brewed  in the old homeland; so they got that going for em.

This brewery is actually known for their light beer. Compañía Cervecera de Puerto Rico is located in Mayagüez, PR and is one of the few breweries on the island. It was founded is 1937 by some presumably mustachioed gentlemen Alfonso, Sabino, and Ramon. The literal brothers started er up to follow in their presumably mustachioed father, the Don (Ramon Valdes). So Medalla Light is their flagship beer. I had this. Did I review it? Uh, looks like I didn't. Shit. Regardless. Uh. So. Yeah, that's sort of backwards. This beer here, the Magna has only been around since like 2011. This baby beer should be drank by babies! You baby! But it's really not that bad. I mean i'd probably compare it to like, uh...ehhyeeaaahhh...I would take a Heineken over this. And I'm not really a fan of Heineken. I mean how do they get away with being that expensive. I mean it's not as bad as Rolling Rock but that beer when to shit when they got bought by AB.

Bottles got a lion on it, which only strengthens I Love The Sauce Beer Tip #1: Avoid Lions on Beers. For whatever reason, the lion can ruin a beer. Name a good beer with a lion on the label. Right...and mate.

Didn't really like it, didn't not like it. It gets the "Who's the Boss?" award.


Men. The envelope.

Drinkability: 5/10
Overall: 4.5/10

Taste : 5/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 3/10

Great Lakes Brewing Company - Conway's Irish Ale

I'm a big Great Lakes guy and I don't know how, but I never knew this one existed til I saw it on tap at my regular dive. Honestly I'm pretty disgusted with myself for lack of knowledge, because this is another good beer from the town Lebron use to play in. It is a seasonal but I'm not making any excuses.

This one is smoooooth. Nice malty sweetness, not to much hop character, just a perfect balance. When I ordered I was thinking it would taste more like an Irish Red, but I was pleasantly surprised. Not to knock Irish Reds, I wouldn't turn one down from a one legged older woman in a sequence dress at the Clark House.

It has a heavy creamy feel to the palate and the caramel malts relate well to the season (available January - April). You can knock these back all night, and at 4 bucks and 6.5% ABV its a deal for the quality. Smooth pour, creamy head, and lacing on the glass til the end. You can't go wrong with Great Lakes.

I did drink this next to a very annoying Russian man, who was actually from Germany. He offered the bartender 1000 Euros to sleep with him. She turned it down, but I don't know why, didn't seem like she had anything to lose. oh well...

Nerd Facts:
Malts:
Harrington 2-Row
Crystal 77

Hops:
Northern Brewer
Mt. Hood
Willamette

Other Great Lakes Beer Reviews
Alchemy Double IPA
Lake Erie Monster IPA
Commodore Perry IPA
Eliot Ness Lager
Rye of the Tiger IPA
Christmas Ale

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 7.25/10