Thursday, December 26, 2013

Central Water's Brewhouse Coffee Stout

Picture this you nimrod: You're walking aimlessly in northern Wisconsin in the winter. It's dark out and hella cold. The snow is coming on thick and you think you'll never make it to "where ever the hell you're going" and all you have is your wit and a brown sack. In your mind, this song is on repeat and you are pretty sure you are losing it, and losing it fast. You split your sack open and pull out a double deuce of this yea out. You wedge the cap of with a stick you found next to that fence and in your last hours you slug this down with no fear. Then a pick-up truck beams its lights down the road and as much as you hate Wisconsin-folk this guy is a real gem and drops you off at the party you were headed to. The party was awesome and you tell that story and everyone thinks you are a real mountain man. Did I mention there are mountains? There's mountains.

Central Waters is a brewery in Amhurst, Wisconsin (originally in Junction City, WI). It started in 1996 by these two dudes (Mike McElwain and Jerry Ebel) in an old Model A factory. They hired local jag Paul "Moonlight" Graham as their head brewer. Three years later the company tanked and was sold to Clint Schultz and with Moonlight, they got imperial on everyone's ass and that's when the brewery really tool off (in 1999).

In 2001 they moved to Amhurst. Five years after that Schultz said adios and Moonlight and his pal Anello Mollica took the reigns; following all this? They currently have 18 beers in their rotation. It is said that the original brewers, McElwain and Ebel, are now pumping gas in Jersey.

These guys are all about solar energy and use photo cells to ensure lighting is not wasted (unlike you after slugging a few of these down). Long story short. Energy conservation and smaller carbon footprint. Sounds more like California than Wisconsin.

I mentioned beer; remember beers? They got 7 in their normal rotation, 4 for their seasonals, 8 in their reserve series (like this one) and another three in the cellar sessions (which requires your left arm and your first born to receive). Worth it by the way.

This is their Brewhouse Coffee Stout. Emy J is responsible for the coffee and Moonlight and his pal are responsible for the rest. As the picture suggests, this has a dark tan head and is darker than Tony Goldwyn's soul. Don't get that reference? Have you ever seen Ghost ingrate? Demi Moore was pretty hot in that movie. And the Swayze. But when isn't he a looker. (RIP).

So how does this taste? Like the aforementioned story suggests; this stuff is thick, heavy and ready for your mouth (like your high school prom date). It has a sweet scent (unlike your prom date) with some chocolatey hints and coffee overtones.  It's quite sweet and malty. Thick, creamy and smooth. There isn't much head to it which might deter some people but trust me, this is a very nice, full bodied stout.

So flavor? Yeah. Solid. So that prolly means its more expensive than a Danish Hooker, right? P'Shaw mudderflutter! I picked this up for under $6 for a double deuce so this has a lot going for it. So here's the catch, probably not very strong. Well listen up Hercules, if you think 8.2% ABV is weak then go back to Hades with Sir Loins-A-Lot and benchpress school buses.

You aren't going to be able to slug a million of these before the 100m hurdles, however, for a stout these are quite potable. I wish totally get this again and I think anyone who doesn't is downright silly in the head. I don't like to be negative, but it's the truth. Cheap, delicious, strong. This is Wisconsin (the good parts) stuffed in a bottle. Really, REALLY good stout. Oh-Em-Gee.

Drinkability: 9/10
Taste: 9/10
Value: 7/10
Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall: 8.25/10

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