Wednesday, April 25, 2012

New Belgium Brewery Company's Shift Pale Lager

So New Belgian tried out a Pale Lager, huh? Real smart, Einstein!

This is actually pretty tasty! However, in the heart of all decent beer reviews, I will prattle on for about 1000 words then tell you what I feel in a quantitative way.

So New Belgian was covered in this review.  So if you wanna know about em, read up there you dingbat!  But I always liked these guys.  They make solid beers; that's why I poured it in my Boba Fett glass (the highest honor any liquid can receive).  I hope someday to be turned into liquid, in the chance I may find myself in said glass.  Oh what a merry Christmas morning that would be!

So I got a stuffy nose here, but lemme see what I can muster.  Yeah man, smells like beer.  A little citrus hint in there.  It looks abnormally light, like one of your dad's lame beers.  It's like, "Dad, I'll give you $10 to button it. That can buy you 12 Budweisers. Don't gimme flak for bogin' one!"  Or something.  She can get a nice head on her, like Harriet Tubman.  White, Flowing.  I just picture Betty White.

So here's the skinny on the taste.  I been around the block so to speak.  Literally and figuratively.  So I expect some eastern European chickenshit horseshit bullshit! No offense.  But man, I honestly think NB is doing it wrong.  This sucker is a light tasting Pale Ale.  I mean I love pale ales.  They're the  I uh, yeah, it's really light though.  I mean you can slug ten of these pounders, slug some babe's boyfriend and run from him with time to spare.  That Bolt guy from Jamaica or where ever used to drink thirty of these before races.  Rumor has it, he'd knock out his coach before races.  So amped up on this stuff.  You know how racers are.

So yeah, man, this stuff is far out!  I like the label.  Being an engineer I'm attracted to gears and stuff...and booze.  So this was like a triple threat based on New Belgium's sterling reputation.  The Gordon Bombay of beers.  Now, if Stenson would just stop and quit being a hardass, Emilio could of went to the pros.

It's got an ABV of 5.0% which is high considering how light it is.  The IBUs are 29. Which is surprising low. I don't know why you people read these things; clearly I dunno what I'm talking about ever.  But I did taste the Cascade hops (along with Target, Nelson and Liberty).  Nice, tasty beer.  It's truly a treat.  I'd definitely get this again, I got this 4-pack of pounders ten bucks.  I'm not cryin' about it, ya turkey!  On the New Belgium website they pair it with a food that I can't even tell what it is.  Which makes me feel cultured.  And I'm too drunk to learn about it now!

Other New Belgium Reviews:
Ranger IPA
Fat Tire
Winter Ale
Belgian Ale

Drinkability: 9/10
Taste: 9/10
Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 9/10

Overall: 7.75/10

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