Yards Brewing Company - IPA

If you want some more info on Yards, check out fellow ILTS contributor Brendon's review of their Bawler Ale here.

Philly has a lot going for them alcohol wise, and that's about the only thing going for that city. Phillies, Flyers, and Eagles fans are almost yearly voted as the worst fans in sports, but maybe that because they are always drunk on delicious beers. There are a bunch of good small brewpubs and mediums sized ones too, like Yards and Victory to name a few. A great microbew city if you ever want to dapple. I'll be out there to catch the last 4 days of Philly beer week in June this summer, maybe a ILTS first beer festival review on the way.

Ok, that said, Yards IPA. As spring has arrived and summer approaches my palate seems to drift toward more crisp and bitter beers. Hell, if you don't think they are refreshing on a dewy summer morning, I don't know why you are on this site. This one doesn't break the mold, its crisp and clean, with strong floral notes. The color is amber with a 4 finger head, that spiders down the glass. ILTS Chicago will tell you only superb beers will enter the Boba Fett glass, and thats the way I feel about the Mermaid Seductress Goddess Glass seen above (Will be seen as "The Goddess" from here on out, in future post). When you see that pic, hop on down to your local bottle shop and you wont be disappointed.

Oh by the way, this guy has an ABV of 7%, so drink and few and turn into a raging sports fan in just hours.

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 7.25/10

New Belgium Brewery Company's Shift Pale Lager

So New Belgian tried out a Pale Lager, huh? Real smart, Einstein!

This is actually pretty tasty! However, in the heart of all decent beer reviews, I will prattle on for about 1000 words then tell you what I feel in a quantitative way.

So New Belgian was covered in this review.  So if you wanna know about em, read up there you dingbat!  But I always liked these guys.  They make solid beers; that's why I poured it in my Boba Fett glass (the highest honor any liquid can receive).  I hope someday to be turned into liquid, in the chance I may find myself in said glass.  Oh what a merry Christmas morning that would be!

So I got a stuffy nose here, but lemme see what I can muster.  Yeah man, smells like beer.  A little citrus hint in there.  It looks abnormally light, like one of your dad's lame beers.  It's like, "Dad, I'll give you $10 to button it. That can buy you 12 Budweisers. Don't gimme flak for bogin' one!"  Or something.  She can get a nice head on her, like Harriet Tubman.  White, Flowing.  I just picture Betty White.

So here's the skinny on the taste.  I been around the block so to speak.  Literally and figuratively.  So I expect some eastern European chickenshit horseshit bullshit! No offense.  But man, I honestly think NB is doing it wrong.  This sucker is a light tasting Pale Ale.  I mean I love pale ales.  They're the bomb.com.  I uh, yeah, it's really light though.  I mean you can slug ten of these pounders, slug some babe's boyfriend and run from him with time to spare.  That Bolt guy from Jamaica or where ever used to drink thirty of these before races.  Rumor has it, he'd knock out his coach before races.  So amped up on this stuff.  You know how racers are.

So yeah, man, this stuff is far out!  I like the label.  Being an engineer I'm attracted to gears and stuff...and booze.  So this was like a triple threat based on New Belgium's sterling reputation.  The Gordon Bombay of beers.  Now, if Stenson would just stop and quit being a hardass, Emilio could of went to the pros.

It's got an ABV of 5.0% which is high considering how light it is.  The IBUs are 29. Which is surprising low. I don't know why you people read these things; clearly I dunno what I'm talking about ever.  But I did taste the Cascade hops (along with Target, Nelson and Liberty).  Nice, tasty beer.  It's truly a treat.  I'd definitely get this again, I got this 4-pack of pounders ten bucks.  I'm not cryin' about it, ya turkey!  On the New Belgium website they pair it with a food that I can't even tell what it is.  Which makes me feel cultured.  And I'm too drunk to learn about it now!

Other New Belgium Reviews:
Ranger IPA
Fat Tire
Winter Ale
Belgian Ale

Drinkability: 9/10
Taste: 9/10
Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 9/10

Overall: 7.75/10

Grupo Modelo's Especial Lager

The only thing special about this beer is how common it is! POW!!! I mean not in a bad way,; you can just buy it anywhere. Grocery Stores, Liquor stores....some of the classier gas stations. I mean it's the third most imported beer in the US. Which means if you never seen this before you're either:

A.) Blind as a bat

B.) Ukrainian

I like Modelo because of their marketing strategy: "We're not Tecate, we're a good one." Modelo pretty much kept it at that and I'll always consider it when buying a beer; like tonight for instance. I love 24 ounce beers because they are great for the work week. Like, tonight, I don't wanna drink more than one beer but want a lot of beer. And Modelo is great for chugging. Kids agree; it's the tops! So it's from Mexico, big whoop! I don't drink your water; why would I drink your beer? Because it's good; that's why, you ding-dong! I got that baby for like $3.50 at the grocery store, which sounds kind of high but, man, they had some double deuces well over 10 greenbacks! So I went with this because, shucks, I can review it. It's only 4.4% ABV so if you wanna get a little buzz, give it the old "college try" and chug that bastard!

So you can see the color; no big surprise it's golden, like Goldilocks' hair. It taste like a wheaty, light beer. I mean at that ABV you can slam these babies down, hard! I'm talking like 12 is a walk in the park, like you're still eating pizza and thinking about 7-11 for maybe a little ice cream treat. I mean you earned a treat, you had a good day. Just top it off with those Ice Cream Twix they have in their freezer. They just got them in. They used to carry the strawberry shortcake shit that you never liked in the first place. Good riddens to that! And scale a fence. This is a great beer to be drinking if you are going to do a lot of illegal shit, because you can run from the cops or Michele Albanese's mom. If only we could have afforded Modelo instead of Beast Ice.

In conclusion...this is a very satisfactory beer. I still drink it as a treat when I typically treat myself to an Old Style or PBR pounders.

Drinkability: 9/10

Taste: 6/10

Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 6.5/10

Yuengling Brewery's Bock Beer

Crank it!

So the Sauce is no stranger to Yuengling's assortment of tasty libations and it seemed fitting to review this seasonal treat. We talked about Yuengling in our reviews of the lager, black and tan and porter, so any information about them can be found there.

First things first, the labels got a goat drinking beer telling you that it "tastes good". I'm a fan of Yuengling's traditional style but this label works for me too. I might have made it a little different though. This Bock was discontinued for regular sale in the seventies but recently came back. It's easier to find in the spring season but is allegedly available all year long but I'm as skeptical as boy at an ice cream truck.

It's got a hearty, bold scent; sweet. It's got a relatively light, hoppy flavor with some real sweet undertones that are just delightful. It's a real treat! If you think of it as a liaison between the Lager and Black and Tan that sorta says "Hey man, you taste like you, you taste like you and I'm just sorta gonna be around when someone doesn't want you two". Like a unique flavor; I should of just said that. It's surprisingly dark but I think this beer is great, cuz it's got a heavier taste than the lager so it's great for BBQs in the spring that are a few weeks early. And it's not smart to drink Black and Tans all night; though I still do.

The Bock has an ABV of 5.1% and the spunk of a chipmunk after eating a sugar cube. A six-pack ran me $7.50 which isn't too bad, maybe a little too expensive to take to a bowling alley. Just want to probably stick to your Stroh's and Old Milwaukee for that. But yeah, a little more expensive than the other Yuengling beers but certainly worth it. But there's time when you are sick of drinking Lager and it's not exactly right to drink Black and Tans or Porter...then this is where this is a dandy little friend. If you don't at least try it you might be known as a facist. I don't know.

Drinkability: 7/10

Taste: 7/10

Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 6.25/10

Other Yuengling Reviews:

Yuengling Light

Yuengling Porter

Yuengling Lager

Yuengling Black and Tan

Duvel – Belgian Golden Ale

If there are three things I know about Duvel, they are

1. Duvel is a Belgian beer

2. Duvel is expensive

3. I still owe me brother $20 for picking me up a 4 pack with the glass

Duvel was started back in 1871, at this time there were over 3000 breweries in Belgium. Think of that number in 1871!!! Today in the US there are just over 1700 breweries, and that goes all the way from the big guys to the local brewpubs. So I guess that’s why Belgians are widely considered superior beer makers to the rest of the world, they’ve just been doing it, and doing it right for so long.

Over the years Duvel has changed the recipe and used trial and error to produce what they feel is the best product they could come up with. Fast forward to the 90’s and we have what they sell today, a bottle conditioned light ale, that uses a strain yeast dating back to 1918, currently in over 60 countries worldwide.

So this one is pricey if you get it at a bar, but I got it for $5 and a free Duvel glass, so not too shabby. Pours to a nice golden color and a lot of white soapy head that spiders nicely through the whole glass. The aroma is sweet and crisp, so much carbonation that it goes up the nostrils like drinking 7up. The taste is complex, dry malt, crisp hops and a velvety texture. I for one can’t stand touching velvet, chills me to the bone, and its drinking texture it might be even worse. But this was so subtle that I could bare it. At 8.5% ABV, any beer is worth a try and its overall a good to great beer.

Drinkability: 7/10

Taste: 8/10

Value: 5/10

Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.75/10

Smuttynose Brewing Company – Old Brown Dog Ale

If you drink with me you know I love dark beers. If you care about me you know brown ales are my main squeeze. So if you didn’t know that, now you do, or we are no longer friends. I probably don’t like you that much anyways.

I had this brew in a case of varieties, and ran about $35 a case, so simple math will tell you that’s about $1.49 a bottle, and a steal for a high quality product that is Smuttynose. Smuttynose was started in 1994 by the same guys who started the Northampton and Portsmouth Breweries. The beers can be found up and down the east coast, as far left in the US as Wisconsin. I recommend to try all of their products, all get high ranks from me, and have a nice smooth complex flavor at a good price.

Old Brown Dog Ale was awarded best brown ale in the northeast at the 8^th annual US beer tasting championship, so some connoisseurs agree is good stuff. They call this an American Style brown ale, which has a fuller body and more strongly hopped than that of an English brown.

The beer is smoooooth! And that the first effect you get when it hits the lips. A lot of malt, nice hop presence, but not overpowering. It’s thick, but flat and goes down faster than yoohoo. I recommend skipping the variety and grabbing a whole case of these guys if you’re a brown ale fan. Absolutely one of the best out there.

Nerd facts:

OG: 1060, TG: 1016
Grain Bill: Pale Brewers, Munich, Crystal 60°L, Chocolate
Hops: Cascade, Willamette
IBU's: 15
Color/Number: Deep brown-amber, 25
ABV 6.5%

Drinkability: 9/10

Taste: 8/10

Value: 8/10

Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall: 8.25/10

New Glarus Brewing Company's Spotted Cow Ale

If you don't crank this tune while you read this you might as well put cotton balls in your ears for the rest of your LIFE!!!

This is New Glarus's Spotted Cow Ale and its made in Wisconsin! I know what your thinking! "What the heck are these guys doing up there?" Well they're making beer and cheese! For as bad as Wisconsin is, they certainly have their priorities straight! And this beer you can only get in Wisconsin! So why the heck am I telling you about this beer because you ain't gonna get it? Well you're gonna get it from me!

So this dude Deb Carey started this brewery up in 1993; no big deal. The brew master is her husband Dan. He got some degrees in food science from UC-Davis. You might have remembered the guy from Cambridge Brewing got his degree there too! He later was crowned valedictorian of booze school.

So the Spotted Cow a light Cream Ale; sorta like Genny but with better taste and less headache. My buddy in college bought a Genny Cream Ale hat in college that was corduroy! I wonder what happened to that hat. It only cost a dollar, the hat, not the beer. It a light color and a light taste. It is surprisingly mellow. Crisp carbonation and consistency that is lighter than water. I'd say its sort of like when you get like whipped peanut butter or cream cheese; you're surprised how light it is. I'd assume it's like the whipped 3 Musketeers candy bar; but I won't eat one because it'll go to my hips and I am sooooo ready for beach seasoooonnnnn!!! This beer is good for mowing lawns and running from cops; I feel I could put twelve on these guys down and punch my buddy in the kisser and still outrun the son-of-a-bitch!

I got this bottle from my boss so it didn't cost me jack but a 6-pack will run you about $8. It's 4.8% ABV which makes it weak as shit and it'll take the better part of a dozen to get so messed up where you might want to punch your friend in the face. I like a deeper flavor and maltier taste to my beers but that's me. This is great for when you're hot or sweating and it's light enough where you can throw a lot of these back. I wouldn't get it again but I am glad to have tried it. I'd probably try it on tap if I saw it though.

Drinkability: 9/10

Taste: 3/10

Value: 4/10

Curb Appeal: 5/10

Overall: 5.25/10