Stone Brewing Co. - IPA

See our review of Stone Pale Ale here.

With our second Stone review, and embarrassing that this is only the second, I blame myself, is Stone IPA. Stone does some great stuff with hoppy beers and this one doesn't disappoint. If you find yourself at a local watering hole and are looking for a safe IPA I'd go with this. I've drank a lot of IPA's in my day and this gem is one of the most balanced you will find for the style. Pours a nice hazy golden orange, with not much head, but plenty of carbonation, very light malt character with a punch of citrusy and piny bitterness. Classic west coast IPA style like a lot of their other offerings.

Coming in at 6.9% ABV and 77 IBU's, this guy surprisingly flies down the throat faster than a sorority girl manning an 8 tube beer bong. Great for a tailgate where you don't care for the concert, or a few before a blind date would make anyone interesting.

Other breweries need to take notes on Stone's presentation. I'm sure the silk screened bottles cost more to manufacture, but damn, do they look nice!

Drinkability: 8/10

Taste: 9/10

Value: 7/10
Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall: 8/10

Sierra Nevada Brewing Company's Celebration Fresh Hop IPA

Whether you want to get your crunk on or merely cyberchat with a couple of teenage babes from Milwaukee; you should crack one of these babies and crank the crap out of this.

Remember four and twenty years ago we reviewed Sierra Nevada for the first time and totally talked about the history of the brewery? Well, if "no" then click here to learn a little more about the brewery.

This is Sierra Nevada's Celebration FHIPA. It's a FHIPA due to its "fresh" hops (fresh as Will Smith's career) and IPA as crap. How "crap", may you ask? 65 IBU IPA MF. That's along the lines of Founder's Centennial if you are in "the know". If you aren't Kool and the Gang then I'll say this "It's relatively bitter". It's 6.8% ABV so you can't slug this like "Sweet" Lou Whittaker slugged tons of homers in 1987. But it has a crisp taste flood with hops tickling the outside of your tongue; leaving a bitter, dryness to the back of your throat. It has a hint of citrus and pine which it totallllllly normal for an IPA.

It has a reddish/brown hue and a cloudy appearance like many IPA before him. That being said, they starting brewing this junk in 1981, the same year Candy Maldonado debuted for the Dodgers.

I got the five finger discount on this beer which mean my buddy left it over here during a visit. I feel like I earned it for being such a good friend and I'm totally going to drink the crap out of them. You can probably get a six pack for about $9 at your local party store. It's packs the punch of about 10 beers so you are getting your money's worth. Oh you gunna git yo money.

I've had this before and it never really disappoints. I usually veer away from breweries this big that sell expensive beer and I guess that's on me because this is a tasty beverage. Clearly I'd prefer to stick with a smaller microbrewery that might be a little more under the radar but the truth is that Sierra Nevada makes a heck of a beer and I like the beer and them. I will get their stuff when selection is low and I want to treat myself, and trust me, I've drank plenty of Sierra Nevada in my day but they don't bring all the girls to the yard like midwest microbreweries...what was I saying? I'd buy this.

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 7.00/10

Victory Brewing Company's Summer Ale

Dust of your 45's and load the stereo with this jam and let the horny details fly!

What the heck do you mean we haven't review Victory yet?

This all started with Ron and Bill (two total dudes) experimented with a brew kit in 1985 after, no doubt, watching Thundercats. This passion led them to abandon the crappy world we know as "work life" and pursue their dreams of beer making; bastards. Ron did a stint at Baltimore Brewing Company (BBC) and after a year studied a broad (or two) in Germany. Bill covered him at BBC. Ron came back to work for Old Dominion. After some time they opened Victory in 1996. They now crank out over 100,000 barrels annually and kick ass on a regular basis. Quick math, that's a barrel for each square foot of their facility.

The have 12 regular brews and another dozen seasonals they push out in Downington, Pennsylvania. Also, interesting fact: Victory is one of the only breweries that uses whole flower hops and if I know our audience like I think I do; zero people care.

This is Victory's Summer Love. Is got a mild, citrus scent. It compliments the taste which is a light, refreshing flavor. It has strong citrus hints with a slight wheat undertone. Almost like if a pilsner humped and IPA and got a little fresh with a lager while a pale ale watched quietly from the closet and was like "Oh yeah, I like this" but ended leaving the party alone and the next day everyone was like "What was with pale ale last night?" and was thus labelled a creep for the rest of high school.

They use German 2-Row malts and three different hops; Tettnang, Simoe and Citra. All yields a very clean drink.

Highly carbonated and a clear, golden color. Medium, crystal white head. By looks alone even you girlfriend could polish off a six pack of these and flip the bird to a cop and run to safety. She'd be pretty wasted unless her college nickname was "Betty the Deuce" cuz these have an ABV of 5.2%. Not too strong but I am pretty sure that men have 2 pints more blood in their bodies than women which is a leading reason babes get way drunker than dudes. Men probably also retain more water unless you count the fluids in my ex-girlfriend's cankles.

Overall this is a fine purveyance. It won't keep you too warm tailgating but a fun crushable in the hot summer nights. I recommend crushing like 10 before necking with your ladyfriend under the boardwalk. These sons-of-bitches run about $11 for a sixer and your local party store. Do yourself a flavor favor and pick up some before the summer's over.

The label isn't anything to brag about but it got babes, hot dogs, ice cream, fish, tents...I mean these are a few of my favorite things. There's nothing not to like about this beer and I'd totally get it again.

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 7.25/10

Bell's Brewery's Oberon Ale

Crank this ill shit to the max and sit down if your comfiest rocker!

Some people think the first day of summer is when they can finally jump in the pool, or when school lets out, or when they touch their first "bikini boob" of the year (which is usually the best of the year). But alas no, it is when you take your first sip of Oberon; which is weird since it's released in April. So don't think it too early!

So let's talk about the elephant in the room; the label is god awful. I have something against suns. I think Sublime might have ruined them for me but I am not a fan. I'm more of a moon guy and it's cooler cuz you can howl at it. Aroooooooooooo!!

So it loses serious points for the label but let's move on.

So let's talk about the beer for a change; a novel idea. It's a light, hazy yellow with a white, clean, short head. It has citrus and fruity scents mixed with a wheaty punch. It's got 56 IBU's so its got a slight hop to it. Oh shit, I forgot to redirect you to the first review where we "talk" about the brewery. It's here. The taste is much like the look an smell, light, wheaty taste with a hoppy bite mixed with fruit and citrus.  It's surprisingly malty but not heavy on the palate. You might find some "flavor crystals" as the bottom of your glass but you can just feed those to your dog.

At the end of the day, this is a fine beer. It's hyped to the max in the midwest so it's sort of a boring old standby. It is refreshing and it is good for you. It's great when the temperature exceeds 90 degrees. I paid 11 bucks for 6 of them so it isn't as cheap at your prom date and not NEARLY as trashy. It's 5.8% ABV so you can get tore up after a handful. Would I get it again? Yeah, I'm not stoopid. But you aren't going to impress anyone unless you go where ever Bell's ISN'T sold.

Drinkability: 9/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 3/10

Overall: 5.0/10

Bell's Brewery's Special Double Cream Stout

Please allow yourself the privilege to blast this so loud your neighbor's neighbors get deaf as shit!

So let's set the stage; shall we? I was recently in the Kalamazoo and against my better judgement I wandered down to the old Bell's General Store for a few well deserved libations. I knew Bell's is the ill shit after partaking in a few choice beverages in previous outings and from our initial review of their Stout done by some of our more handsome reviewers here.

So if you are from the midwest Bell's is as common as corrupt Chicago politicians or Chicago murders (we're up to 1 a day on average; keep up the good work southside!) So yeah, its common so shit man, I can find some of their more typical stuff everywhere (20 states currently) and they got their stout, Oberon, Two Hearted and it never really made me feel special; the way a beer makes a man feel special. And shit, I'm special, so as I went to their General Store I sawr this and as soon as I see the words "special" on a beer I'm already half in.

So special, huh? You got me; now explain yourself. At first I tasted nine different malts and was astounded when I found out they actually use ten. I guess my tongue isn't as discerning as it was in the 80's. What malts? How the shit should I know? I'll tell you what I can tell. Coffee, caramel, probably caramel 2-row (if that's a thing), cocoa, and red dye number 2; I don't know. What the heck good am I? Well, I can tell you this Potsie, if you run the 110 meter high hurdles I wouldn't beer bong any of these under the bleachers with all your pals. I'd be impressed if ANYONE could bong these. These are more apt to be poured over  a stack of pancakes.

It's darker than your conscience after prom-night (the bomb-night) and has a tan similar to Julian Tavarez. Actually, as I fact check this it may be a little darker. Tavarez when he's on vacation for sure. The scent is overwhelmingly sweet with bitter, coffee and chocolate undertones. I mean no one is going to be surprised that this jazz is heavy, McFly. You get some decent oaktree effect on this bad mother and a smooth, malty finish (so at least you will have a nice finish if you do drink this before the 110 hurdles).

This stuff is far more common in the winter months and I no doubt caught this on the end of its annual reign. I might get into some more of this shit next winter if I see it out and about but it will have to wait until the colder months. It's got a 6.1% ABV and I paid about $2.00 for a bottle at the store but I couldn't drink it until I got into the parking lot.

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 7.0/10

Central Water's Ouisconsing Red Ale

Crank this ill shit pronto.

So this is another beer from the guys over all Central Waters. We first reviewed Central Waters here so if you wanna know more you gotta read that shit, bro.

Ouisconsing sounds like a GD word people say when they talk about, what's that called, shit, uh...shit. I looked all over the interweb and I had no idea what it's called. Google sucks! Regardless, what? Oh..the word. Algonquonese for a Milwaukee river? Or something? THE Wisconsin River. Sorry. What was the name of that dance?

So let us talk about this beer specifically; why don't we? So unless you're Ray Charles you can tell this beer has a pretty serious amber look with a pretty gnarly head on it. What is actually pretty special about this beer is that frothy head. It leads to a very smooth, malty flavor. It's more full flavored than a lot of ales out there. They must cram about fifty tons of caramel malts per bottle. That's my amateur estimate but I feel it's pretty accurate.

It's smoother than Orlando Bloom at a frat house; I mean smoooooth. I suggest this for anyone who likes a full-bodied beer or a fan of stout that isn't looking to drink their dinner in one pint. This is one of the better red ales I've had and it's as smooth as gravy without all that "gravy" taste.

The label is pretty typical of all beers they had in the pack. Not a huge fan but what the heck do it know about art. It's simple and gets to the point but when do I ever want to get to the point?

I'd definitely try this bastard again. I will say, this is way better out of a glass than the bottle. It packs a 4.8 ABV so it's of mild strength; it tastes a lot stronger. I picked this muminabatch up in a sampler pack and it ran 21 bones for 12. Mathwise I probably could have done better but well worth. As Steve Brule would say, "Check it out!".

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 9/10
Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 7.0/10

Lakefront Brewery's Monkey Wheat Ale

Take this bad mother up to 11!

Yet another beer from our friends at Lakefront; Milwaukee. Let me start by saying this does not taste like bananas unless you've gone bananas. For some reason I thought it might but it tastes like a wheat ale as any normal person would guess. I have had a banana bread in my day and I suppose that's why I felt it might taste like bananas; plus the monkey on the label. So it's a little "deceiving" and by "deceiving" I mean "I'm retarded".

It's got a clean, white head (like yours truly) and the foam lasts as long as a Shia LeBeouf's innocence at Elton John's birthday party. It's got a bubbly, hazy, golden look to it as any hefeweissen would. The label resembles the type of children's book. The ones that are super simple and the one's I'd use for Book-It just to get free pizza at Pizza Hut because they have a grand total of 100 words. Great. Now I want pizza.

It has a wheaty scent to the old bastard. Which makes sense since they use pale wheat malts (along with 2-row). They stick strictly to cascade hops (which I feel is a little amateur) so it's not a very complex flavor and, dare I say, a little boring. I'd stick a little fruit in it (not Shia LaBeouf). Like a lemon or orange slice. Mmm. Orange Slice. Do they still make that?

They stick about 7 IBU's in this guy. Match that with the 4.5% ABV and you're gonna need to crush 10 or so to get a decent buzz on. The beer itself is pretty easy to crush. This is good if you are a 13 year old prepubescent or a 65 year old jagbag. I feel if I had a ton of these I might get a little bored with the flavor so be sure to have plenty of fruit on hand when drinking this.

I probably wouldn't look into getting any more of these if I didn't have a lemon on hand. It's not the type of beer you'd want to bring camping or crush in a parking lot. You gotta plan way ahead and it's not dirt cheap (like I usually like) so is it worth the effort? Probably not. A decent beer but given how lazy I've become this will mostly stay on the back burner and I'd stick with Bridge Burner or something along those lines from Lakefront.

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 6/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 5/10

Overall: 6.0/10