Old Harbor Brewery's Old Harbor Pale Ale

The beer so nice they named it twice. Old Harbor Pale Ale warrants the name of the brewer itself.

The brewery itself is the only microbrewery in Puerto Rico, which is Spanish for Paul Rico, the famous hair stylist; duh. They got about 4 beers on their regular rotation and a seasonal one that they release whenever the hell they want to.  The brewery itself was founded in 1996 but did not open until about 10 years later. They're nothing to say about other than Dr. Porifio Diaz was probably drinking all the profits! Or not. It's a family run business so its a wholesome time and destined to fail. They also serve food at this place which was actually pretty rad, by Ted Theodore Logan's standards. The brewery itself is located in San Juan which, of course, is Spanish for "Sand Man", also named after a famous man, Mr. Sand Man. He was good. A little too good.

So as far as the pale ale is concerned, here's the skinny. It's a typical pale ale; with citrus undertones and a hoppy bite that would make Bunnicula shriek. Eeeeeep! The main thing I found about this beer, because I'm such a professional, is that you can absolutely pound the daylights out of these, I mean f'real. They go down faster than the sleezy woman in the hotel room next to me....right......now. Gross. You can't tell from the picture but it's got a nice copper color. Like someone melted a rattlesnake in a jar or pennies. Delicious.

The beer itself, well, I dunno how much it cost; so in my opinion it was free. Shooting from the hip and spilling from the lip, I'm gonna guess that it was about $8 for a 20oz glass. Which sounds ridiculous but beer is abnormally expensive here. They sell shit beer for $5 on happy hour, true.

So in my opinion, would I get it again? Heck yes I would monsignor! I mean if you're in the Rico and you wanna down some suds and you're like, hey, that beer looks nice, then you drink it you turkey; its as simple as that. And this beer is certainly tasty. I couldn't afford a zillion of them but if you have to drink, HAVE TO. Like someone put a gun to your head, I'd get this. Or you can get Bud Light and pull the trigger you dummy! Cuz that's what you'd be; a dummy. Simple as that.

Drinkability: 9/10
Taste: 7/10
Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 5/10

Overall: 6.25/10

Full Pint Brewing Company - Festivus

"A Festivus For the Rest Of Us"

My love of Seinfeld drools over this beer. The label boasts an Aluminum Festivus pole, a dumbbell for the feats for strength and a megaphone for the airing of grievances, I dono what more you can ask for visually, although the artwork is sub par, its cool they even incorporated it in this thing.

So this beer is made by Full Pint outside of Pittsburgh, and in my mind, a really good winter beer. This one is so seasonal they dont even put it on the website, so dont even try lookin. Not much info on the actual brewery out there, but one of the guys was the assistant brewer at North Country in Slippery Rock PA, and now head brewer for Full Pint, and North Country puts out fantastic products, so I'll be trying others from Full Pint.

This is a spiced brown ale, with the typical Christmas spices, slight cinnamon, clove, maybe some ginger, and a pine/mint hop presence. It is well balanced with a strong malt flavor. The flavor was malty with a hint of spice and very good aroma It was 6%, but only a few in a sitting would do it, then I think I'd move to a different taste.

All in all it does justice to being represented with the best tv show in the history of time. For those of you who know the Festivus episode, let me remind you how many things are actually going on in 30 minutes.

1. Festivus
2. H&H bagel Strike
3. Jerry dates a two face
4. Elaine and the denim vest guy
5. The two horse betting gentleman
6. Human Fund donation

...and probably many more


Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.75/10

Caledonian Brewery Company's Newcastle Winter IPA

That kind of jerks haven't reviewed Newcastle products yet? The kind of jerks whose incessant babbling you are currently reading.

Newcastle Brewery is owned by Heineken and the beer itself started around the late 1920's. it merged with someone you probably never heard of (because we haven't heard of them) and their shit is brewed in North Yorkshire in John Smith's Brewery (not Pocahontas' boyfriend; but what a babe, hubba hubba). But it was brewed in a few places beforehand and was originally marketed as the blue-collar man's beer; but could you imagine the Boss drinking this? Heck No! In the U.S. is marketed as a pretty trendy beer that jerks and men with popped collars enjoy on a frequent basis as they hit on babes at bars and talk about their mutual funds.

It originally was starter by Willie Younger (who isn't younger anymore) in 1749, which actually makes him older than shit. It was bought by Heineken in 2007 and Willie prompted turned in his grave.

The Winter IPA is available in November through January, like anyone could have guessed. It's got an ABV of 5.2% which is as strong as you were after taking a nap when you were eleven years old. The recipe is as classified as nude pictures of Amelia Earhart. Shooting from the hip, we'll say it has an IBU count in the low 50's. You can definitely taste some hops in there but it is quite mild to say the least. It tastes more like an English bitter or just a traditional winter ale. It has a bitter aftertaste so if you are some bro at the bar talking about your Mutual Funds, you might wanna pop a Breathsaver before feeling up some dame in the back of your Audi. I'd also play a little Steve Winwood. Shit's smoooooth.

The taste is malty enough going down; you not going to be able to necessarily slam these. It has a dry, bitter finish (see above) with a mildly frothy head on it, for an IPA. It's a pretty clean pour with a light amber tone and has some pretty decent carbonation action. It has a bittersweet scent with a touch of caramel.

I paid $17 for 12 of these which is a far cry from cheap or expensive. You can definitely find something better for the price. As far as IPAs are concerned, I would not pick this up if you are looking for a hoppy beer. It shines as far as a bitter aftertaste but the initial taste leaves something to be desired. It's dry finish with guarantee than you are going to want to slam like 15 burritos after a night of these puppies or you'll wake up drier than...you fill in the blank, pervert.


Drinkability: 4/10
Taste: 4/10
Value: 3/10
Curb Appeal: 5/10

Overall: 4.0/10

I Love The Sauce Presents: Eye Patch, A Black I.P.A.

So folks, we are now gonna break for a second from our normal beer review routine. Here at I Love The Sauce we love beer (and scotch I may add), as well as anything about beer; the conversation,  the atmosphere, the laughs, the tears, the bowling, and the hangovers. For those of you who do not know us personally, we have a wide range of personalities, a vast knowledge of useless information, and interests that greatly differ from person to person, as well as living geographically all across this great nation. But we are brought together by the brotherhood of beer, and we hope these differences can relate to every aspect of you, the consumer.

Anyways, as stated in my heartfelt intro, we love beer, and well, some of us even make beer. Now let me start out by saying I am novice at best, but learning more and more each day.  I figure if a product is made that tastes good, why not let you all know about it, to make myself feel good.

So this is a Black IPA, it has the same light mouth feel and characteristics of a standard IPA, but a deceiving a dark appearance. This bad boy is hoppy, and leaves you with a nice bitter burn long through the finish until the next sip. It is overly hopped and dry hopped in the fermenter.  I went a little crazy on the specialty grains, and used some black patent, carafa, and crystal, but the blend came out pretty good if I don’t say so myself. 

I am more than willing to share the recipe if there are any other brewers out there interested, all I ask is you say hey, I Love the Sauce sent ya.

Oh yea, this is 7.7% ABV, so slug til the Pirates break .500

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 7/10
Value: 6/10 (ingredients-time/effort)
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.75/10

Three Floyd Brewing Company's Pride and Joy American Ale

American Ale, anything less would an abomination. You like America, don't you? You cuss!

So we reviewed Three Floyds here.  I always like reviewing beers from a brewery we've already reviewed because it's way easier and usually a LOT more nonsense. So if you don't like nonsense, go back to reading your sister's diary and let the grown ups talk. And drink your Yoo Hoo.

So you wanna hear about the beer, grandma? Alright. It's an American Ale, which is a fancy way to say "we dunno what it is". Essentially, its a sweet Pale Ale. And when I say "sweet" I don't mean "totally badical". It's pretty good. I can chug the crap out of it and it has a relatively light head to it, like Jack Balloonhead. Remember him? Yeah, well, I made him up, but you get the idea.

So the biggest problem I have with this beer is the label. As you can clearly see it's a picture of Freakazoid's meth addict cousin in his pajamas with a stick! Now, that sounds good, but it fails upon execution. I respect the 20 sided die on it, along with the grenade and skull. But it looks like something a high school senior would design after listening to White Zombie and playing pogs all night. moooree hummaannn than hummaannn. Whoever let that guy do movies should be shot. I wouldn't trust Rob Zombie shine my shoes. C'mon.

Stuff is 5.0% ABV which is the equivalent to PBR; so it's not winning any awards there. I mean if you can't beat PBR, who ARE you? It's got a little hop in its step, 52 IBUs.

Overall, the beer taste pretty good. Light enough to chug and tasty enough to have a backpack full, but it's a pretty bad label. I'd be embarrassed to be seen with it. Like if I was at the local watering hole, what am I gonna say to a nice lass? "Oh hey, don't mind this beer but do you wanna make out while listening to the Deftones?" I mean, you just can't be taken serious; and I'm all about being serious, f'real.

In hind site, would I get it again? Sure, if it was on tap. Would I shoot the $10 on a 6-pack? If I wanted to die a virgin, definitely. Listen. If I'm gonna die a virgin, it's gonna be on MY terms. Not the jerk on the label, the jerk. And your a jerk if you like the label, you jerk. Jerk.


Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 6/10
Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 2/10

Overall: 5.0/10

Yuengling Brewery's Light Lager

So this is Yuengling Brewery's Light Lager. I know what you're thinking: "Yuengling makes a light beer?" They sure as heck do!  If you want to know a little bit about Yuengling, the oldest brewery in the United States, click right here.

The can claims its 99 calories and the website says 98 calories; so someone is a dirty liar and, for all intensive purposes, a real piece of crap.  Yuengling Light is pretty underrated. I mean you can drink a million of these and never gain a pound. I said a million monsignor! Plus, it's only .1 grams of fat; would I lie to you? About THIS?

Well you wanna talk about the beer? Ok, let's go! It goes down faster than a Australian grad student at a Silverchair concert. If you had to slam a beer, like really slam. Like King Midas had you by your collar? Yeah, this is your choice. Now, all beer has a downfall, well most beers. And this one is its ABV, but no shellac, Sherlock. This has a great great taste and is lighter than a drowning rat. The ABV is 3.4% which is as pathetic as watching a senior citizen trying to do a pull-up. Even an old navy seaman. This is a great beer to the kids, you stuff a few of these in your backpack and take em to a football game and the coppers are after ya, well you can chug these bad bastards and take off through the woods to your buddy's house. Well, he's not your buddy, just a guy who let's you drink at his house when his parents are out of town.

The government will tell you without a doubt that beer is bad for you, but what do they know? I think even pregnant women can slug this guy; I mean its 3.4%, it doesn't take a total turkey to tell you 6 or 7 of these will be safe. I want a dozen.

The can, well, is pretty typical by Yuengling standards; eagle and all that. But it's got a distinct color which will make people be like "what the heck is that?". And you can be all coy and say "Oh, this, yeah its Yuengling, the light one, no big deal. What do you got there? Lager, yeah that's alright, I drank that last year."

But I wouldn't say I'd pick this over Lager or Black and Tan, I mean I rarely have to drink on the run these days, especially with my bad knees. And its ridiculously cold this time of year. As far as light beers go, this is a big winner. It runs about $18 bucks a case, which, at that ABV is as smart as smart as buying a Smashmouth CD. There are definitely better beers for the price, but its a great beer nonetheless. I recommend it for chugging in parking lots, alleys, bathrooms, on porch's at family events where you are too young to drink.

So there's that.

Other Yuengling Reviews:
Yuengling Porter
Yuengling Lager
Yuengling Black and Tan
Yuengling Bock

Drinkability: 10/10
Taste: 5/10
Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.5/10

21st Amendment Brewery - Monk's Blood

I've done some 21'st Amendment reviews before, and you can check out some company info on a past review here.

It's really hard for me to pass up any of the 21'st lineup. I haven't been disappointed yet, and  the can artwork really draws the eye. For this brew the founders traveled to Belgium to research and develop a recipe, but we all know how the internet works, so my guess is it was an excuse to go and drink in a foreign land, that's why Canada exists for me, but it was worth it!

This beer is dark in color, I'd say about the same color as the can, and has a very complex flavor. Those boys from San Fran really hit the mark in Belgian style. Its thick and creamy, like drinking actual blood, hence the name I guess, the Monk part comes from where they were visiting in the Trappist area of Belgium, where a buncha Monk's use to live and brew.

It's a hearty beer, would pair well while eating cheese, or some sort of thick jambalaya type stew,or while watching some medieval games. Definitely couldn't drink more that 2 of these in a sitting, it has very strong overpowering flavors, brewed with cinnamon, vanilla, figs, and aged with oak.

It put me back around 5 bucks, which doesn't break the bank, and it was 8.3% ABV which is right up my alley.

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall: 7/10