Deschutes Brewery's Red Chair Northwest Pale Ale

Jack it up and pack it up snowbunnies!

Remember four score and seven years ago I talked about how it was weird we didn't ever review Descutes beers and continued to NOT review then. Well, that one is on me. I don't have a good excuse other than, I just am lazy. These guys continue to brew plenty of good beers, even after Larry Sidor left them. I actually secretly had this as a point of contention. however, is it like me to hold a grudge. Yes, but that's borderline irrelevant.

Me? Huge fan of Cinder Cone. I remember I had it for the first time and crapped a load in a good way. This, Red Chair, was supposed to be their replacement to it. Cinder Cone was superior in my opinion and even if they modeled a better replacement for it, I still always tell people that this is their replacement, which, may not be accurate anymore, but since when has this site been accurate?

You got your cascade, munich, craphills (carapils), pilsner, and pale malts twisted with a cascade and centennial hop or two, which it with some water and yeast and blammo, Red Chair. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. This stuff yields a 6.2% ABV and a 60 IBU. Even a baby could taste the pale ale bitter, floral tastes from the cascade hops. Well, let's just summarize this as follows: You know a regular pale ale? Well, picture that with a touch more bitters and a more full bodies taste. I mean you put enough malts in anything and it'll toss your tastebuds for a ride. Then your tastebuds will be YOUR buds. Then it's "on".

It has a bittersweet, floral scent and leaves a solid oak tree effect on your glass. More carbonated than your typical pale ale, the full bodied flavor masks the carbonation for a solid, fullbodied taste.

In short, I'd love to shoot this down as an inferior replacement to Cinder Cone, and it is! However, that being said, still a damn fine beer. You can find this sucker at your local party store in the Winter and early Spring and, shit, regardless of what they say, I find this whenever I goddang want.

I paid about $10 for a sixer of this which is pretty average. If you roll up with this and a Philly blunt to a John Mayer concert, by default you will be the coolest cat in the henhouse. Just don't tell anyone you went to a John Mayer concert. Is he still around? I hope not. What a toolshed!

Beer gets it's name from a ski lift. Not too entirely important but some BS fact for you and your frat buddies.

Oh, I forgot. So for the month of December we are adding a new category with will be irrelevant to the score for for the beer. We will suggest the best Patrick Swayze movie to drink this beer to. Me and my pal came up with that after one too many brunch brews.

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 5/10
Swayze Movie: "Christmas in Wonderland" feat. Chris Kattan

Overall: 6.5/10

Bell's Brewery's Midwestern Pale Ale

Crank this if your are cool.

This is another beer out of Bell's Brewery; their Midwestern Pale Ale. If you went braindead since the initial review of Bell's which is chuck-full of facts about the place click over here. There actually isn't many facts in there and I think some of that is dated, but who cares (half the shit we say isn't right anyways).

So their is Bell's take on the pale ale which has many of the same characteristics of pale ales which means they know what their doing. Shit is as smooth as an Asian drag queen's stomach after going down a Nair slip-n-slide. Now that we have that image stuck in your head; let's continue.

It's got a light tan head and the beer itself is a cloud golden hue. It has a slight sediment to it and medium carbonation. It has a wheaty aroma with strong malt scents that are confirmed at first sip. What separates this from most pale ales is the full bodied flavor. It encompasses your mouth leaving a trail of hop and bitterness that is not realized upon initial oral contact, which is one of my top ten favorite contacts. This is not to be mistaken with oral contract; one of my least favorite contractions.

It's got a booze value of 5.2% ABV so it's strong than your typical beer but a little lower than some pale ales out there. What it lacks in crazy juice it makes up for in flavor. A sixer of this will run you better than $10 but if your friends are as cool as mine, you can con them out of a couple when they bring them over for a visit.

The bottle itself has got the whole barnyard look to it which I like because I was on a total Garfield and Friends kick a while back. And I know Roy was a jerk in that but he was still the best character.

Bell's for the most part makes a rad beer and this is no different. It's heavier than your Sierra Nevada and your Coors Cutter but this is great for kicking back and taking 'er easy. If you are doing a sack race in the near future I might hold off on these until after the finals. If no sack races are in your future; drink up!

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 6.5/10

Tallgrass Brewing Company's 8-Bit Pale Ale

Crank it and drank it kids!

I'll be the first to say I can appreciate any beer that combines some of my favorite things, such as 8-bit gaming and pale ales. Throw in the fact that I came across this beer in a game of chance (left over from a BBQ) and didn't cost me a thing? Well, that's a hat trick my friend.

Tallgrass was founded in 2007 by Jeff and Tricia Gill. Jeff was a homebrewer looking to start up a microbrew and did so in Manhattan, Kansas. They currently have about 7 regulars in line-up with a few seasonals sprinkled out across the year. The interesting thing about Tallgrass is that all their beers are in cans. This is for environmental, cost savings, and beer quality reasons.

This is their 8-bit pale ale (also known as their only "non-indian" pale ale). It's got an IBU of 40 and an ABV of 5.2%. If you multiply that together you get 208! And if that doesn't tell you something then your a total dumbo! They use galaxy hops along with other Cascades and Goldings hops used in pale ales. That gives it a little more citrus and passion fruit undertones. And you fruits know how much passion I got.

Well let's talk about it, right? Little cloudy, not gonna lie. Did not expect that. There is also a lot of head on this beer and have a cream color to it.

It has a citrus scent, like most pale ales. Pretty mild scent given the full flavor this baby packs.  It has a thick, malty taste with a bitter, dry finish. I feel this is a good beer for tossing around a football to. It's heavy, malty; makes a man feel like a man. Leave a lasting, bitter flavor in your mouth. And maybe you'll just cook up a few sausages on the grill with the guys afterwards. You can wax intellectually about mustards. Oh, yeah. And you can talk about mustard a lot, can't you?

This is a great pale ale. Can't really slam them but it's got a tasty, long finish that can carry you through a long afternoon of sports. Pair this up with some Tecmo Bowl and some sausage and you got a nice little weekend there, don't ya? For 9 bones you can score 4 pounders. Which is better than being called a loser buy a 10 year old. I'd pick this up if I saw 'er in a store. Don't go down as clean as some pale ales; but this one is worth savoring.

Drinkability: 6/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall: 7.0/10

Bass Brewing Company's Pale Ale

So this is Bass Pale Ale. Bass started up in 1777 by Billy Bass in Trent, England. Shit used to be the highest selling beer in the UK once upon a time. InBev bought them in 2000 and, like all things that got bought by InBev, went right down the shitter.

Bass is known for it red triangle. True story; England's first registered trademark. Bet you didn't know that you dirty liar! It's so gd popular its been used in Picasso stuff and Manet. It's no Monet but, hey, it's something.

Let's talk about black and tans, shall we? We shall. I like Bass on it own, however, where it really stands out is when it's used in black and tans. I find those to be excellent. I try and order them when bars generally have bad selections of beers. A little treat if you will. I used to work with Irish and English guys and it's been embedded in my mind that England on the bottom. That's how I remember which order to go in. Then the stout goes on top, obviously. Don't be a bum about it because you don't want these mixing too much when you pour, ya amateur.

So let's talk about this beer for a change. It's an abnormally smooth pale ale first of all. You could almost mistake it for a amble ale. It's sweet and not bitter at all. It's got a smooth, malty finish and leaves a somewhat dry aftertaste.  The look is cleaner than Columbian cocaine and doesn't leave you all paranoid after an all night rave.

I've always appreciated the old school, non-flashy label of Bass. In a world of 4G phones and flashy pinball machines, I can appreciate the subtlety of this bastardman. It's saying something like "Yeah, I'm cool, ya know?" and you can still get sloppy drunk off of 'em. I like America because we crank the size of our meals and the alcohol in our booze. In England its like 4.0% alcohol but, in typical American fashion, we crank it to 5%. Hey, if Bass wants to compete with PBR it's gotta step its game up son.

Like I said, this is a decent beer on it's own. It's not a head turner but any means, but it;s a fine reliable standby. When mixed with a stout it's fantastic, especially for a dessert. It run about $9 for a sixer, which is a decent deal. I might get bored after 5.5 of them. I'd say...if I was drinking at Chili's or Applebee's or something, I'd order this. I'd probably buy a six pack of this if I was at a 7-11 at like 1:30 in the morning as well.

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 6/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.5/10

Old Harbor Brewery's Old Harbor Pale Ale

The beer so nice they named it twice. Old Harbor Pale Ale warrants the name of the brewer itself.

The brewery itself is the only microbrewery in Puerto Rico, which is Spanish for Paul Rico, the famous hair stylist; duh. They got about 4 beers on their regular rotation and a seasonal one that they release whenever the hell they want to.  The brewery itself was founded in 1996 but did not open until about 10 years later. They're nothing to say about other than Dr. Porifio Diaz was probably drinking all the profits! Or not. It's a family run business so its a wholesome time and destined to fail. They also serve food at this place which was actually pretty rad, by Ted Theodore Logan's standards. The brewery itself is located in San Juan which, of course, is Spanish for "Sand Man", also named after a famous man, Mr. Sand Man. He was good. A little too good.

So as far as the pale ale is concerned, here's the skinny. It's a typical pale ale; with citrus undertones and a hoppy bite that would make Bunnicula shriek. Eeeeeep! The main thing I found about this beer, because I'm such a professional, is that you can absolutely pound the daylights out of these, I mean f'real. They go down faster than the sleezy woman in the hotel room next to me....right......now. Gross. You can't tell from the picture but it's got a nice copper color. Like someone melted a rattlesnake in a jar or pennies. Delicious.

The beer itself, well, I dunno how much it cost; so in my opinion it was free. Shooting from the hip and spilling from the lip, I'm gonna guess that it was about $8 for a 20oz glass. Which sounds ridiculous but beer is abnormally expensive here. They sell shit beer for $5 on happy hour, true.

So in my opinion, would I get it again? Heck yes I would monsignor! I mean if you're in the Rico and you wanna down some suds and you're like, hey, that beer looks nice, then you drink it you turkey; its as simple as that. And this beer is certainly tasty. I couldn't afford a zillion of them but if you have to drink, HAVE TO. Like someone put a gun to your head, I'd get this. Or you can get Bud Light and pull the trigger you dummy! Cuz that's what you'd be; a dummy. Simple as that.

Drinkability: 9/10
Taste: 7/10
Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 5/10

Overall: 6.25/10

Three Floyds Zombie Dust Pale Ale

So I'm minding my own mind at this bike shop in Chicago and my buddy Whitehead says to me "You want a beer?"

Well, I mean, what's a man to say? I don't not want a beer so with minor reservation I accept the offer and he hands me this bastard. This is the type of bike shop where it's abnormally hard to find a beer opener so I fumble in the pocket and open up the beer with my keys. Now, this is beer if good for one main reason; it's free.

Three Floyds is a brewery that opened back in '96 back around the time Frank "Big Hurt" Thomas was crackin' homers all over the American League. These two brothers decided to open a brewery, as most brothers do, and started this guy up serving beers to NW Indiana and Chicagoland area. They grew and got their own brew pub in 2005 and now serve a hell of a lot of beer to a hell of a lot of places. So, yeah, this place has grown since their inception and, man, it's like, not too shabby. My personal favorite thing about this brewery is that it has a website that look like something the founders Nick and Simon Floyd make in computer class in 1993. I honestly can't believe America hasn't outlawed neon. That's so Reagan!

So you see the picture you turkey; I don't have to describe the dang appearance! The label is pretty cool I guess; I always has problems with pictures with foil labels. Tim Seeley designed the label and it clearly is influenced by the comic industry; I wanna say Ghost Rider. This is their pale ale and it's quite hoppy. I wouldn't have been surprised to hear it was an IPA. It's 6.2% ABV so it'll knock you to oblivion like you're name was Jeff Reed. It's got it's citrusy undertone and a strong hop flavor. Whitehead also wanted me to mention that at over 6 inches away he could still smell it on the breath. I suggest if you are drinking this in you car like Jeff Reed you might want to invest in some breath mints in case the fuzz rolls through.

I guess you can get a sixer of this for $8 at the brewery but allegedly it's around $13 a sixer at your local party store. Would I get it again? Probably. I'd like to check out some of their other stuff. I'm sure if you roll to a party with some of this no one will call you a Jamoke. Try it. For realz.

Drinkability: 6/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 3/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.0/10

SweetWater Brewing Company 420 Extra Pale Ale

Which one of the following was the band from Almost Famous? Stillwater or SweetWater? I bet half of you got it right and half of you got it wrong. Stillwater was the band. What is SweetWater then? Well it happens to be a brewery located in Atlanta, GA, the town that was recently stripped of its hockey team. They didn’t deserve the Thrashers anyways, Winnipeg needed a hockey team back o-so-badly. SweetWater Brewing Company was founded in 1997 by a former Colorado college student. They have a thing for fishing too, as you can download a SweetWater fishing calendar. It’s a pretty outrageous thing to do, because fishing and beer TOTALLY don’t go together. That’s just as absurd as drinking beer while camping? Weirdoes. Anyways, Sweetwater makes a ton of beers (well, like 14 to be exact), with only 5 of them available year round.

The 420 Extra Pale Ale is named “420” because the brewers like to smoke pot. Like A LOT of pot. That may or may not be true, but the label says that this beer was first conceived in their brewery on April 20 of some unknown year, so they gave it the really original name of “420 Extra Pale Ale.” I’m not knocking the name at all, it’s cute, and it probably gets some stoners pretty excited when they hear about it. It probably at least gets some laughs from some immature college kids. The 420 Extra Pale Ale tastes like a typical pale ale, it has a nice strong hoppy flavor at the front and the back of the palate, but it doesn’t linger too long. It’s unpasteurized too (there are little buggies floating around the bottom) and this gives it a slight hefeweizen taste, which is interesting and enjoyable. This beer isn’t too heavy, so drinking a six-pack during the course of a softball game is quite possible and is encouraged. At 5.4% ABV its pretty average, but does its job. I picked up a six-pack for $9 at the local Harris Teeter. I like the label too – it looks like Starsky and Hutch are fishing for a GIANT rainbow trout. Because nothing sells beer better than a 70s TV show (not the movie reboot) or enormous fish. Score!!!

Next time you are out fishing, or just sitting around with your thumb up your ass, give the Sweetwater 420 Extra Pale Ale a try. The worst thing that happens is that you get a little drunk and don't catch any fish.

Drinkability: 6/10

Taste: 6/10

Value: 6/10

Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.25/10

Tröegs Brewing Company's Pale Ale

This is another beer from my favorite country, the United States of America. Tröegs Brewing company pushes out a Pale Ale in their operations which is the focus, one of many, of this review. To learn more about Tröegs, click here when I reviewed their Dreamweaver Wheat Ale.

So Pale Ales are probably my second or third favorite types of ales. I like them because, just like John Stamos's hair, it's hard to mess up. It's sort of like going to a high school dance with a really loose girl; you may not brag about it but you're guaranteed to enjoy yourself and if you throw up afterwards, you know you had a blast. But then they keep calling you to hang out, and you can only use the "I gotta mow the yard" excuse so many times until you flat out gotta tell her that she's a skank. Then her new boyfriend Moose finds out about what you said and he wants to pound your face into custard! I mean, was it worth it to go through all that hassle? Yes; but not by much. It's like, "C'mon Moose, is she really worth it?"

Now, unlike skanky girls, this Pale Ale is dandy and wholesome fun for everybody. It's got an ABV of 5.4% and a swell taste. They use Munich and Pilsner (you know!) malts and Liberty and Cascade hops, with Full Leaf Cascade hops in their Hopback...of Notre Dame. Cascade hops are pretty much essential in the brewing of Pale Ales, as you might remember, and they certainly don't hold back of those. It's got a pretty malty consistency and a smooth taste. Bitter, as is the custom with Pale Ales but dry enough so it doesn't leave too strong of a bitter after taste in your mouth. It smells surprisingly mellow; no overbearing scents. A lot of Pale Ales will have a strong bitter or floral aroma, but Tröegs keeps it nice and subtle. It is actually pretty deceiving given the full bodied taste of the beer.

This is a great Pale Ale and compliments the variety pack nicely, which I picked up for $16. It's similar to their Amber Ale, but they use the Cascade Hops rather than the Nugget, along with a few other things. But it's great. It has an IBU of 45, which is pretty standard for a Pale Ale. When comparing it to the majority of Pale Ales out there, I wouldn't say it's outstanding, but it's as just as good as Sierra Nevada or you're run-of-the-mill local Pale Ale provider. The label is pretty "blah" but you are sure to make a bigger impact rolling with Tröegs than Sierra Nevada, especially if you are in Pennsylvania.

Drinkability: 6/10

Taste: 6/10

Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 5.8/10

Other reviews from Troegs:

Dreamweaver Wheat

Hop Back Amber Ale

Summer Pilsner

Matt Brewing Company's Saranac Pale Ale

Matt Brewing company puts out a decent amount of beers out each year and this is their Pale Ale. You might remember Matt Brewing Company was initially reviewed here when I covered their IPA, so if you wanna know more about them just click on that you big wise guy!

Pale Ales are obviously a pretty common beer for breweries to make. It's about as common as Crocs at trashy waterparks like Waldameer or as common as me eating too many fries at The Potato Patch...at Waldameer. The important thing to remember is that french fries are delicious, but like most things in life, must be taken in moderation. Also, In-And-Out make some great fries. I can literally put down about 4 orders. So for this one they use English Pale Ale malts and Cascade and East Kent hops which yields an ABV of 5.5%.

Now Cascade hops are pretty common in beer popular in the West Coast of the USA; such as the ever-famous Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. This obviously yields a moderately bitter and floral taste to the beer whereas the East Kent Goldings will add a touch of spice that the Sierra Nevada does not. There are also citrus undertone as in most pale ales, so that's pretty common. It has can uncommonly sweet scent to it, which is in contrast to the bitter taste. There is a slight aroma of the hops as you'd expect.

This baby has some nice head on it. As far as pale ales go, its right around the median. If you like a spicier pale ale, this might be right up your alley. Me? The bitterness is nice, but I'm not much of a spicier type of guy. If you are a guy caught in between IPAs and Pale Ales, this is for you. If you are a more citrus, smooth maltier Pale Ale guy, I'd steer clear. I would definitely drink this again, but I wouldn't be in any hurry. This beer is average, for me, from the top the the bottom. A nice addition to the 12 pack, which I bought for $13.99, but I don't think it could stand on its own and Matt Brewing might want to dig a little deeper to make an exceptional Pale Ale.

Drinkability: 5/10

Taste: 5/10

Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 5/10

Overall: 5.0/10

Other Saranac Brews:
Irish Stout
Brown Ale
Irish Red
Amber Ale
IPA

Peak Organic Brewing Company Pale Ale

I'm starting to really really really like the Peak Organic Brewing Company. I've reviewed a few of their other beers (see below) and they were both above average (with the IPA being exceptional). This is their Pale Ale, and it keeps Peak's batting average at 1.000, as it is a delicious and refreshing pale ale. 

The Pale Ale under review in this review is quite good. There is a little hoppy flavor to it, but not nearly as strong as their IPA (44 vs 76 IBUs), as well as some hints of citrus. It's also pretty light and crisp, and is a great beer to have at the end of a long day in the sun. Or during a long day in the sun if you're on vacation or something. I would even go so far to say that this is a great beer to have while hanging out with your friends by the pool or the lake or by some other body of water, it's that good. The pale ale runs at 5.1% ABV, and came in the 12-pack variety pack that ran $12.99. Out-of-state I've seen sixers that run at $8.99.

I had this and the other Peak beers while in Maine, so you might be thinking that I am over-rating them because of that, but you would be wrong, friendo. This pale ale (and the others) are quality beers that you will enjoy, regardless of the state you are in.

Drinkability: 7/10

Taste: 7/10

Value: 8/10

Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall:7.5/10

Other reviews of Peak beers:

IPA

Pomegranate Wheat Ale

Abita Brewing Company's Restoration Pale Ale

I like beer. I like drinking it and I like the taste of beer. I also like writing the reviews as I'm drinking which has been atypical at best lately. I talked about Abita Brewing Company here when I reviewed their Purple Haze a few moons ago. I was pretty stoked when I bought this sampler but found to much chagrin after a brief stint in Pennsylvania my Turbo Dog and Amber Ale had been drank, drunk. They were gone, long and short. But my Restoration Pale Ales were still intact. I got the variety pack for $15.

R.P.A. is a mix of Pale, Lager, and Pils malts hopped with Cascade and used California Ale yeast. This yields a IBU of 20 and an ABV of 5.0%. This has a sweet, citrusy smell with understones of an ash tray. Yeah. It's weird. It's not a bull blown ashtray scent but it smells a little smokey. The taste is very mild. This is one of the lightest tasting Pale Ales I've ever had. Slightly bitter and hoppy with no after taste. Wet, and leaves your taste buds quickly.

If you are looking for a full bodied beer, this is not for you. This is a better beer if you are into lighter beers, like lagers or pilsners and trying to get into the pale ale realm; or splitting a case with your Bud Light buddy. I wouldn't pick this up again; but I love the bitterness of a pale ale. It's a nice, light beer, but I like a maltier, heavier pale ale.

Drinkability: 7/10

Taste: 4/10

Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 5/10

Other Abita Beers:
Jockamo IPA
Purple Haze IPA
Wheat Lager

Overall: 5.25/10

21st Amendment Brewery - Hell or High Watermelon Wheat Beer

Although most fruit beers are sissy at best, I toast 21^st Amendment Brewery for this delectable/unusual flavor.

21^st Amendment Brewery was founded in San Francisco in 2000 by two buds, Nico Freccia and Shaun O’Sullivan, who met 5 years prior. Named for the ending of Prohibition, they celebrate the culture of the great breweries of old, making unique, and hand crafted beers

It is brewed in a classic American wheat beer style, and then undergoes a secondary fermentation using fresh watermelon (although the can says concentrate and additional watermelon juice). The end product has a hazy glow like that of any other traditional wheat style beer.

The taste is malty and smooth, with a kiss of watermelon flavor at the end that doesn’t stay with you. It rolls down the tongue then vanishes. The watermelon flavor is a bland mimic of a jolly rancher. Just enough to let you know it’s there. Sort of a touched by an angel situation. I personally don’t look for a fruit flavor to linger with me like the hops of an IPA. Just get in, do you job, and get out.

The beer comes in a can which first drew my attention at the local bottle shop. One might think, “craft beer in a can?”, I say “don’t be a jabrone, pour it in a glass and drink up”. It’s tasty on steamy summer day for 1 or 2, then switch to something else. Probably a fine accompaniment to fried chicken.

Alcohol Content: 4.9% ABV
Yeast: Top Fermenting Ale Yeast
Hops: Magnum
Malts: Two-Row Pale, White Wheat
Bitterness Units: 17

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 7.5/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.625/10

Cambridge Brewing Company's Tall Pale Ale

Cambridge Brewing Company started up in 1989 with the mission to pop out a variety of American style hooch along with a blend of booze they interpret from the world with a dash of some of their own creations. They are located in Kendall Square in Cambridge, Massachusetts and host around 10 beers at a time along with a long spread of lunch and dinner meals. I strolled into this place for one reason, it was hotter than a Justin Bieber concert on the sun and they got some AC in there. What kept me in the was the fact the "3 EPs" from the Beta Band was playing in there which ranks as all time, 2nd place for best music I've walked into a bar hearing. The first being "Jinx Removing" from Jawbreaker at Toronado in San Diego.

The owner, Phil Bannatyne, started off in the San Francisco area and studied Brewing Science at UC-Davis; which my guidance counselor NEVER told me was an option in high school. He's teamed up with brewmaster, Will Meyers, who's been making booze for 20-odd years and has a profile so flattering it almost sounds like he wrote it himself. Rumor has it that he can shred the gnar like whoa. I've never had the food here but the place is really clean so I assume it's probably pretty good, or as Tourette's Guy would say, ".....pretty good."

These cats are always cooking up tons of beers and constantly adding them to their repertoire; I can't even begin to list all the types of seasonal beers they have. Their beer lists are very thorough and detailed so it is clear that these guys know what they are doing.

Their "Tall Pale Ale" is hopped with Cascade and Centennial hops, both from the wort and dry hopped. Any any hopping on this magnitude should, in my opinion done here or with an IPA so it is no surprise that I personally find this pale ale to be hoppier than most conventional pale ales, and they also admit that themselves. They also use malts of caramel and pale which is pretty conventional. This brew leaves a hoppy, bitter aftertaste in your mouth and has an almost citrus scent to it. Their menu says its 5.8% ABV and their website says 5.7% but I'll tell you what, I went in there after not eating for 31 hours and I'll be damned if I wasn't lightheaded after one. A pint ran $5 which for Cambridge is not bad. Next door was selling pints of Butt Light for 4 bones so it's easier to justify buying than a Chinese prostitute; and let's face it, we've all been there.

The ambiance of the place is great, high ceilings and exposed bricks and their wide and revolving beer selections will continue to keep me coming back. The pale ale is good for IPA fans and anyone who is a fan of hops. If you are looking for a maltier smoother pale ale, you might want to look elsewhere, but, like I said, you can come here for some pretty decent beers aside from this baby. Their beers are on draft only and I think they might have growlers to go. I've been in so many bars lately it's hard to keep track.

Drinkability: 4/10

Taste: 6/10

Value: 5/10
Ambiance: 8/10 (only on tap)

Overall: 5.75/10

Onion Pub and Brewery's Paddy Pale Ale

The Onion Pub and Brewery graced Illinois in 2003. The name itself derived from the Potowatami tribe. Apparently these rascals were canoeing down rivers in the outer Chicago area and went up to Lou Piniella and straight up told him the place reeked more than the Cubs; like an onion. True Story. Sort of.

The brewery itself is on an old sand and gravel quarry and the framework for the building is made of 250 year old, environmentally friendly, deadfall Douglar Firs; which everyone knows is my favorite wood. I wouldn't mind getting a baseball bat made out of Douglas Fir and beat Elijah Wood, which is my least favorite wood.

Paddy Pale Ale has an ABV of 5.4% and Onion Brewery's flagship brew. It's got some strong hops to it, not as smooth as a Sierra Nevada or Yellowtail, but not as bitter as a Dale's, which is the first one I thought of because its in a can. It has a creamy aftertaste which is pretty surprising, in a good way. It's how I would picture the aftertaste of Genny Cream Ale to be like, if I ever drank it. I'm sort of scared to. I'm not sure why. But this ale is crisp, refreshing, and a citrus taste to it. It runs about $10 a sixer. In the future I'd pick up another pale ale but it's worth trying. If you can get some for free I'd do that for sure.

I'm a fan of the cans though. It's got two drunken, miners or some shit. The one on the left looks like W but I'm still of a fan of the old fart on the right.

Drinkability: 5/10

Taste: 6/10

Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 5.5/10

Alexander Keith Brewery's Pale Ale

An elk on a label of a pale ale usually sells itself, which is exactly what grabbed me into grabbing this beer; and the fact it will be the first Canadian beer covered by the blog.

Alexander Keith's Brewery started up in 1820, around the time of one of my favorite wars, the war of 1812. This makes it, as scholars put it, a old ass brewery (for North America). So up in Halifax, Alexander Keith jumped across from Scotland to Canada back in 1817 and apparently got right to brewing beer. Today the brewery makes, like, 8 beers, two of whom are seasonals. They didn't actually export beer to the States until this year, 2011, which make sense since I never saw it around before and lord knows I stopped going to Canada when I turned 21.

If you are in Canada, however, you can tour this brewery but it costs, like, 20 bucks, which an economist will tell you is utter bullshit. You couldn't pay me to go to Canada. Well, you could, but it'd cost way more than $20. We're talking, like, $30. They also have a translation on their website to French, which makes it one of the more sissier sites I've ever been to.

Now down to the beer. This beer wasn't bad but if they keep assuring me this is a pale ale, they're gonna get a fist to the mouth. This is a horrible "pale ale" but a decent "lager". It has nutty overtones, with a hint of citrus. It's got an ABV of 5.4%. I don't know. This beer really upsets me because it doesn't taste, no, it's NOT a pale ale. I don't like people lying to me. I wouldn't buy it ever again for that simple reason. Shame on you! Didn't taste too bad though. I feel they are lying to Americans because this beer is export only which makes me wonder "What are they REALLY hiding up in Halifax?"

You can get a sixer for about nine bones.

Drinkability: 5/10

Taste: 6/10

Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 5.5/10

Magic Hat #9 (not so pale ale)

Put me on cloud nine, oooooh baby! What a magical beer indeed!


The Magic Hat Brewing Company's # 9 (not so pale ale) is brewed up in South Burlington, VT (not to be confused with the shit-hole that is North Burlington, VT), the home of the University of Vermont. My good friend Bert works at UV, and he really likes beer. I bet he likes this beer. In Vermont, they call themselves "Vermonters" - I like it. I also like that Vermont is the home of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream. Magic Hat refers to their beers as "elixirs" and not as beers. I like that too. Vermont seems like a cool place to be, until you remember what winters are like there.

Magic Hat claims that their #9 brew is a mysterious beer, and they might be right. They say on their FAQ page that #9 is way better than the numbers 1-8, and for some reason it works. They gave the not so pale ale the #9, but aren't sure why. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the mountains of pot and thousands of Phish concerts attended by the brewers. Wait, am I stereotyping? Yes, why yes I am.


The significance of the #9 doesn't really matter, as this ale is going to score close to a perfect 10 on this review. Even though its called a not so pale ale, it is a really tasty one, with fruity bitter tones and a lovely aftertaste. The smell is delicious too. It's not too bitter, so for those of you that don't like bitter beers, this might be a match made in heaven. I love uber-bitter IPAs, but I enjoyed this lighter fare all the same. It's light on the tummy and boasts a 5.1% ABV, so you can drink PLENTY of them and not feel too full / drunk, unless you want to feel full and drunk, then keep 'em coming. Its a tad on the costly side, maybe $10-11 a sixpack (I got a single 12oz bottle at TJs for $2), but totally worth it. As the humidity and heat are cranking up here in the S-th, the magical #9 elixir will sure be stocked in my fridge for continued enjoyment all summer long. And probably in the winter too.

Drinkability: 9/10

Taste: 10/10

Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 9/10

Overall: 8.0/10

Carolina Brewing Company Pale Ale

The short and skinny of it - this beer sucked. It sucked so bad I didn't even take a picture of the bottle. I found this one on some dude's flickr account. For a review of the Carolina Brewing Company, see this earlier post. 

When I opened this beer and took my first sip, I thought that someone had played a prank on me. Like that they had emptied the beer and filled it up with seltzer water instead or something. But then I realized that it wasn't April Fool's Day, so who would play a prank like this? Maybe this guy would, but he wasn't around today. Well, it turned out that shenanigans were not had, and what I was tasting actually was the CBC Pale Ale. This pale ale lacked any taste of any sort, it was probably the weakest pale ale I've ever had. It kind of tasted like a pale ale, but like I said above, I thought it was beer-flavored water. That being said, I could have probably drank 10 of these in a row (if I could space them out over 4 or 5 days, cuz I'm a lightweight). It does have a decent ABV of 5.6%, so pair that with its easy-goes-down-the-gullet character, you could get wrecked pretty quickly - but not for cheap though, these guys run about $9 for a six-pack in these parts. I picked up a single bottle of this pale ale for FREE at a get-together today, which is a good deal. You know whats weird, the other CBC beer I reviewed before I also consumed for free at a get-together. What is it about Carolina Brewing Company beers and me consuming them as free party beers? Are people trying to get rid of the stuff? Hmmm. Do yourself a favor and stay away from the CBC beers. Unless they are free, cuz they still give you a buzz, which is what it is all about. Dawg.

Drinkability: 6/10

Taste: 2/10

Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 4/10

Overall: 4.0/10

LoneRider Peacemaker Pale Ale

Cowboy up boys and girls. The Peacemaker Pale Ale comes from the LoneRider Brewing Company in Raleigh, NC. The LBC's motto is "Ales for Outlaws." I've never been arrested or been on the lam from the feds, but I enjoyed this beer even if it isn't meant for me.

The LoneRider Brewing Company has a thing for the old west, for cowboys, and for western American style beers. They brew four beers, with names such as Peacemaker, Shotgun Betty, Sweet Josie, and DeadEye Jack. The brewery opened in 2009, and I bet a wooden Indian nickel that repeated viewings of HBO's Deadwood had something to do with it. I've never seen the show, but heard it's pretty good. If there ever was a cowboy for a product to be inspired by though, it should be any cowboy played by Sam Elliott, more well known as The Stranger from The Big Lebowski. He is one awesome guy. Could be the most awesome ever. Ever see Road House? Of course you have. Here's a pic of Sam Elliott as the most sauntering, bad ass, cooler of all time Wade Garrett. Youtube failed to find any clips to demonstrate his gravitas. Go pop it in the DVD player now if you need a refresher, cuz I know you own a copy.

The Peacemaker Pale Ale is marketed as a west coast style American pale ale, and it sure does taste like one that I am sure you have had before. A little hoppy, this ale goes down easy and has a pleasant aftertaste. It also has a pleasant aroma and is not too filling. Just about everything about this beer is pleasant. At 5.7% ABV and ~$8-9 a six pack, it sports a not too shabby ABV/$$ ratio. It's a solid beer, one that is going to bat 0.280, hit 15-18 HRs and drive in 80 RBIs a year. Solid. I'll pony up and buy this beer again, and am interested in trying the other offerings from LBC very very soon.

Drinkability: 6/10

Taste : 6/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 6.0/10

Opa-Opa Brewing Company's Pale Ale

I like a nice pale ale and that's what this is. Opa-Opa Brewing company was reviewed here and all the information about the brewery can be read on there.

The pale ale has an ABV of 5.4% and this growler, like the Brown Ale, cost $6.99 for a half gallon. I like reviewing growlers because I review the beer then I just get to drink the rest and not worry about writing anything; plus its economical and looks cool. She's a little hoppier than Sierra Nevada and Ballast Point's Yellowtail but not obnoxious like a Hop Wallop or anything like that. If you don't like hops, you probably don't like pale ales in the first place, but there are milder pale ales out there, however, their intention of this brew is to have a "snappy" aftertaste of hops. It's a delicious beer, that's for sure. Nothing about the smell is bad; smells like a typical pale ale. The taste is refreshing, leaving a hoppy bitter aftertaste that makes the mouth water.

By no means is this, in my opinion, better than Sierra Nevada or Yellowtail but it is a very decent brew and I would get it again. It's cheap, it's good, and looks pretty cool when your carrying a jug of hooch around like a drunken hillbilly. Also, I read that the term growler came about when a man drank a few "growlers" one night and then he had church the next morning and boy was he growlin'! Okay. I made that part up.

Drinkability: 5/10

Taste: 6/10

Value: 8/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.5/10

Stone Pale Ale

Hailing from Escondido, North San Diego County, CA, Stone Brewing Co.'s flagship beer, their Pale Ale, is a mighty good beer. The original east coast deserter would probably be better at reviewing this one, but I lived in NorCal for three years so I have some experience with the left coast and feel somewhat qualified. I cracked this one open after a long day at work when I actually did work that day, and let me tell you, it was one hell of a treat. I wouldn't drink this out of a snifter, but the lovely odor coming out of the bottle was striking and I made sure to enjoy it before taking a sip. This is a Pale Ale, so its kind of bitter. Not bitter beer face bitter (F U Keystone), but deliciously hoppy bitter. Not nearly as hoppy as an IPA, but hoppy enough for an IPA fan like myself to enjoy. It ranks in at 41 IBUs. I read on wikipedia that the technical max for IBUs is 100, but that some brewers will try to brew beers that surpass 100. To do this, brewers sometimes use the tears from uber-bitter Penguins fans after the Pens lose a game 7 AT HOME to the Lightning in the playoffs. Or a single drop of saliva from Indians fans after the Tribe blew a 3-1 series lead to the Red Sox in the 2007 ALCS will do the trick. I STILL HATE YOU JOEL SKINNER!! WTF DIDN'T YOU SEND KENNY LOFTON HOME!?! MANNY WAS WALKING TO PICK UP THAT BALL!!!!!

Ahem.

Stone Pale Ale has the typical pale ale - hoppy beer taste, which leaves a nice flavor in your mouth. I wouldn't recommend having one with enchiladas though, which I did - la comida mexicana no va bien con esta cerveza. This is a beer meant for relaxing, sipping slow, and enjoying life. I would definitely drink one while watching someone's kid play T-ball. And at 5.4% ABV, it gives a nice buzz, if you are prone to buzzes after half a beer (guilty as charged). Plus, there is a gargoyle on the bottle, and who doesn't like gargoyles? At $10 a six pack, its a bit pricey, but I was able to pick up a single 12oz bottle at Whole Foods for $1.79, so I ain't complainin'. Overall though, great taste, great flavor, and one that I will be returning to on a regular basis.

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste : 9/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 9/10

Overall: 8.0/10