Monday, January 18, 2016

Breckenridge Brewery's Vanilla Porter

Breckenridge is back again.

Actually, this is our first review of Breckenridge Brewery. I feel I've drinken (drunk? drank?) a zillion of their beers in my old age and it's only now that I review it? Well, quite frankly, I'm more surprised than you.

So Breckenridge started up in Colorado by a knightly man, Dick Squire; which coincidentally has the same name as the coolest guitar I've ever heard of. Picture this, some dude started a brewery in 1990 in Breckenridge. Not a glamorous story but probably the most factual thing you'll read on here. It expanded in '92 and 24 years later can be found in over half the states in America and are at a 62,000 barrel a year capacity. And that's good enough to get the attention of Anheuser and his friend, Busch, who recently purchased the micro (turned macro brew). I hate those guys. Don't have a reason but I suppose that unfortunately makes me a bigot and, let's face it, after a couple of these, that won't bother me any more.

Moving on. They make 28 beers over there (until A-B moves them to NYC; home of the worst worst salsa). Six of these beers are around all year round and the rest, believe it or not, aren't. Go figure. This beer, the Vanilla Porter, IS available all year. When it comes to beers, Vanilla Porter are as unique as a philly cheesesteak truck in the City of Brotherly Love. That means they are a dime a dozen but that no reason to not like them. Who likes unique beers beer anyway? Not A-B!

This beer is darker than Darth Vader's doodie hole in a cavern in on Pluto and smells twice as nice. It's also got a tan, thick head (like my ex-wife). The scent (other than the Pluto thing) is a chocolatey, sweet aroma. The taste is a thick, full bodied flavor, with strong chocolate and nutty undertone. The 5.0% ABV printed on the label contradicts the website's 5.4% proclamation. It's a proclamation abomination! I trust anything I find on a bottle (or at the bottom of) so I'm sticking with 5.0 unless Dick Squire's ghost shows up and tell me different. Also, I think he's still alive.

Well, let's face it, Breckenridge has sold itself to A-B so it's stock is going to drop faster than Beiber's drawers at a Hunger Games premiere. If you hang out at a local gathering looking for mad props from the honeys and homies rollin' up hard and strong with a sixer of this (which you can get for a 10 spot) bitches be like, "whaa" and the homies, well friend, you tell me what the homies say. Hint: they don't "play" that.

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 5/10

Overall: 6.5/10

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