Sunday, May 26, 2013

Carlsberg Group's Elephant Lager

The Carlsberg Group was founded in 1847 by my old gym teacher J. Jacobsen. It's based out of Copenhagen and scholars surmise more than half the employees chew Copenhagen. This brewery group is actually really big. They have like 45,000 employees and are growing faster than that rash on your bum (I told you to get it looked at). So Carlsberg had two major logos, the elephant and the swastika. Guess which one stuck. So Jacobsen was like "Hey, I'm gonna science the shit outta this beer" and created departments of physiology and chemistry to aide with the brewing process (nerd alert) and most likely received dozens of "wet willies" in high school.

Carlsberg continued to buy up brewerys in the 90s and through to today by acquiring Tetley, Baltic Beverages, and Okocim. They have so many beers under their control you actually have to scroll down on a computer page to read all of them. Highlights are Elephant, San Miguel, Baltika, Kronenbourg, Okocim and Saxon Beer.

Elephant appear a little blah. The bottle looks pretty cool, low profile but then you see it's only 11.2 ounce which is the biggest joke since Stella Artois. It's like "Hey Dingus, even my dad drinks 12oz beers now; get with the program". The beer has a highly carbonated taste. Light and refreshing and easy to chug, especially considering the 7.2% ABV; the police actually put out an ABV out of this one, breaker breaker. The smell isn't very strong at all. This lager taste a little like Heineken but with a better after taste, plus you don't look like such a douchebag drinking this opposed to Heineken. It's about $9 for a sixer but again, don't be fooled by the 11.2oz bottles.

I'd get this again when like, I wanted to drink a ton of beer and get really messed up. Like I said, its 7.2% ABV but you wouldn't suspect it until you drank like four of them and then stood up and at 11.2oz per bottle, you're gonna be getting up an awful lot.

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 6/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.5/10