Three Floyds Zombie Dust Pale Ale

So I'm minding my own mind at this bike shop in Chicago and my buddy Whitehead says to me "You want a beer?"

Well, I mean, what's a man to say? I don't not want a beer so with minor reservation I accept the offer and he hands me this bastard. This is the type of bike shop where it's abnormally hard to find a beer opener so I fumble in the pocket and open up the beer with my keys. Now, this is beer if good for one main reason; it's free.

Three Floyds is a brewery that opened back in '96 back around the time Frank "Big Hurt" Thomas was crackin' homers all over the American League. These two brothers decided to open a brewery, as most brothers do, and started this guy up serving beers to NW Indiana and Chicagoland area. They grew and got their own brew pub in 2005 and now serve a hell of a lot of beer to a hell of a lot of places. So, yeah, this place has grown since their inception and, man, it's like, not too shabby. My personal favorite thing about this brewery is that it has a website that look like something the founders Nick and Simon Floyd make in computer class in 1993. I honestly can't believe America hasn't outlawed neon. That's so Reagan!

So you see the picture you turkey; I don't have to describe the dang appearance! The label is pretty cool I guess; I always has problems with pictures with foil labels. Tim Seeley designed the label and it clearly is influenced by the comic industry; I wanna say Ghost Rider. This is their pale ale and it's quite hoppy. I wouldn't have been surprised to hear it was an IPA. It's 6.2% ABV so it'll knock you to oblivion like you're name was Jeff Reed. It's got it's citrusy undertone and a strong hop flavor. Whitehead also wanted me to mention that at over 6 inches away he could still smell it on the breath. I suggest if you are drinking this in you car like Jeff Reed you might want to invest in some breath mints in case the fuzz rolls through.

I guess you can get a sixer of this for $8 at the brewery but allegedly it's around $13 a sixer at your local party store. Would I get it again? Probably. I'd like to check out some of their other stuff. I'm sure if you roll to a party with some of this no one will call you a Jamoke. Try it. For realz.

Drinkability: 6/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 3/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.0/10

Boston Beer Company's Black and Brew Coffee Stout

What is the first thing that comes into your head when you hear "Black and Brew"? If your answer wasn't "Scrum at me, bro" you are wrong.

If you wanna hear about Boston Beer Company you can click here or just make it up yourself; but those are the Sam Adams guys.

So I bought this in the Sam Adams winter sampler and it's been looming in my fridge the entire time. I mean I like coffee and I like dark beers so I was really excited about sampling this guy. So, yeah, it's a stout and its coffee. They actually use a pound and a half of coffee in every barrel of this stuff. So you can imagine that I was bewildered when I found out this stuff sucks!

First of all, if they are claiming this is how they make a stout, I don't even want to consider tasting it! This stuff has a nice dark head and is a clear as Bermuda Triangle, which means it isn't clear at all. I realize the reference was pretty bad. But you can tell from the bubbles that it isn't going to be a thick, delicious beer. It is full of flavor but after 2 minutes of pouring it it looks like I'm drinking motor oil, which is also full of flavor.

It smells good enough. Heavy coffee aroma with some sweet, fruity undertones; like figs or some shit. I suppose you can taste it a little bit of it too if you make a note of it. It's got a 5.8% ABV so it's as strong as a kick in the johnson.

I dunno. It's weird. It's a watery beer with a lot of flavor but I wouldn't want to drink more than one of these in a sitting. I guess I'm just disappointed in Sam Adams, as usual. The variety pack has been pretty disappointing also but for $11 a 12-pack, I mean, it's not the dumbest thing I ever done.

Drinkability: 4/10
Taste: 3/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 4.75/10

Sierra Nevada Brewing Company's Ruthless Rye IPA

An American classic such as this should be enjoyed while enjoying this beer.

George Washington once said "Beer is so cool, especially when you drink a lot of it while playing Nintendo." Wiser words were never said!

So this is Sierra Nevada's Ruthless Rye. It's it any different than their regular Torpedo IPA? Heck yes, mon fraire! My favorite thing about this and other spring seasonals is that they hit the market right after the big Chicago snowstorm. So if I drink this will it be spring faster? Damn yeah! And I feel if a groundhog drinks a six pack of this for $8.99 it'll throw up all over it's shadow and give it the finger!

Sierra Nevada started up with Ken Grossman, Rex "Sex Cannon" Grossman's long lost relation, making a small ass brewery in Chico, California. In '76 he opened up a home brew store after college and two years later he met up with his pal Paul Camusi and they rustled up some soda bins nad crap. Hey, I dunno what the heck the bought and I don't give a crap. Point is, they started making beer. By 1980, they brewed their first batch of Pale Ale, their flagship. Ken still focuses a lot of his time on the brewing operations to this day, so he's either dedicated or really bored. I'm personally guilty of one of those.

So what's this Ruthless Rye all about? Well it's an IPA ya dingleberry! Rumor has it this is supposedly to replace with Maibock Glissade spring seasonal, and you know what, I'm cool with that. This bottle houses the hottest reaper babe I EVER seen or imagined! This beer got a citrusy blast and a spicy hop to it you'd have to be a straight up goon to not, at a minimum, try it.

Will this beer blow you away though? Probably not. I mean it's a tasty IPA, as far as IPAs go. Spicer than their Pale Ale, obviously, but most IPAs are, and supposed to be. I mean look at all the foam in the picture! That hoptastic if you ask me, and I'm a freelance doctor! It's got a deep amber color and there are no bugs swimming in there, ZERO! Not including myself, obviously.

What kind of hops are they using, what kind of yeast? I dunno, I'm not that kind of doctor. But this IPA had the taste and quality I'd expect out of Sierra Nevada, stand up characters over there. If you like IPAs you should definitely try this during the spring. I don't personally care for IPAs too much but this is a pretty tasty one. A lot of fools with over hop theirs, especially if it's a seasonal, but not Sierra Nevada. Like I mentioned before, its spicy but also has a crisp refreshing taste, so it isn't like chugging maple syrup mixed with Pine Sol. Do they still make that stuff?

If you slosh the stuff in your mouth it foams like KaBoom! Coating your mouth with a light coating of malty deliciousness that I can't begin to describe. It has a very strong odor, heavy with hops and malts. Good though.

Long story short, this is a nice, pleasing IPA. It's allegedly 6.60% ABV. No wording on the IBUs on this new baby yet, but hopefully we will find out soon. Go out and grab a sixer of this though; you won't be disappointed. If I had a buddy come into town that likes IPAs I'd definitely get this again if it was still around. Would I get it again other than that? Maybe not, there's so many beers and like I mentioned before, I'm not huge on the IPAs but it's definitely worth a try for ALL beer fans, and at $9.00 a sixer, can you afford NOT to try it? Can you? Listen Ebeneezer, loosen the purse strings you old scrooge and indulge! Cratchet!

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 7/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 9/10

Overall: 7.25/10

Tiny Tim?

Boston Beer Company's Old Fezziwig Ale

Sam Adam's Beer is made up in New England and people up there think it's wicked good but I don't trust a dang word that comes out of a Red Sox fan's mouth! But the Boston Beer Company are the outfit that brew all the Sam Adam's stuff. Boston Beer Company became the biggest American owned brewer in the United States when InBev bought Budweiser. You can say a lot of bad things about Sam Adam's but at least it's not brewed in Canada! But man, New Englanders are a rare breed.

The Sam Adam's line itself came about in the 1860's in St. Louis by some dude. One of the founders of Sam Adam's made up that old ass recipe in 1984 and him and two other nerds from Harvard started up the Sam Adams. The first place they had the beer available at a bar in keg form was in Jamaica Plain (for the locals).

Boston Beer Company makes like 25 different beers, though most of them have been officially retired or purely seasonal. They come out with the majority of them during the winter months and colder parts of the year.

The Old Fezziwig is better than I remember. I remembered I like it because Fezziwig was one of my favorite characters in the Christmas Carol. The fool-hearty fellow! You can see the stuff is dark, but it goes down the gullet pretty easy. It was a full-bodied flavor that you wouldn't expect from an ale. Definitely heavier than a few black lagers we've covered before. It leaves a little malty aftertaste in your mouth also; not over bearing though. This stuff will keep you warm when you are drinking outside cutting firewood for a fun-filled evening of Pictionary with your buddies. It has a chocolatey, bitter, nutty taste. A spicy, tang sure to tantalize your tastebuds. A taste so bold, that even Ebeneezer Scrooge would give you the night off to make merry with a few low class hookers.

I got the winter sampler for $10.99 for a 12-pack, so this deal is pretty rad; I mean it was good enough for me to throw my morals out the door and buy a Sam Adam's product. 6 Different beers also, variety is the spice of life! It's got an ABV of 5.9% and an IBU slightly less than 30. So man, you should just pick this up before the weather gets warmer. Because nothing is more fun than drinking outside freezing your tookus off!

Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 7/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 8/10

Overall: 7.0/10

New Belgian Brewery's Fat Tire Ale

If you are anything like me you don't do anything until you've evaluated how cool it will make me and this rarely ever backfires. When I saw the Fat Tire Winter Sampler at the store (for $15) I thought to myself, "How the heck cool will this make me?"

After some lightning quick thinking I realized it would make me pretty cool and, heck, I like beer so how the heck could it be a bad deal? Beer does the wasted, and I LOVE that. When I'm wasted I get my super powers, where I think I have the strength of two men, and think I have the power that women can't hear me, especially when I'm callin' em skanks and broads or something. So, yeah, this beers cool so run out and get some. Here's the review!

This is Fat Tire and I'm sure as south will rise again that you've seen it in the stores, and hell, you probably had it before too BUT for everyone that seen it and convinced themselves that this beer isn't for them, well hey, this is for you!

So yeah, its got a scent. It's like a walnut dropped in hot caramel and if you never smelled that before that you're a straight up, flat out jabroni. And it's pretty dark for an ale but who cares? Because it tastes good. It's got a crisp, malty taste with a touch of nutty smoothness. You can get a hint of the hops (IBU of 18.5) but it's not over bearing. It also sorta tastes like peas; I dunno how it just DOES! They use Wilmette, Golding and Target hops and I'd be lying if I said I didn't target hops when I played basketball. They use Pale, Munich and Victory malts and I'll tell you what, these guys use more malts than a lot of breweries which gives each of their beers a distinct taste, unlike a previous Shiner Bock review we did in 1988.

So now your thinking, okay, I'm a master of Fat Tire now, tell me what to do next. Well listen turkey, this thing has an ABV of 5.2% which is a mouse pube away from Bud's 5.0%. So is it gonna royally mess you up? Sure, but not until you slam half a dozen in a church parking lot. I mean it's $15 a 12-pack so it's not the greatest show on turf, but it ain't the worst. If you roll up Big Willie style to a rager with a twelver of this under each arm all the fine ladies are gonna be like "OHH!!! OMG ROTFL XOXO!" and you're going to be all, "WHATTTTT?!???" Solid.


Other New Belgium Reviews:
Ranger IPA
Winter Ale
Belgian Ale
Pale Lager



Drinkability: 6/10
Taste: 6/10
Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 6/10

Overall: 5.5/10

Rogue Santa's Private Reserve Ale

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for a Stinky mouse, who was getting drunk on egg nog and miller high lifes. If the Stinky mouse had any sense in him though he would have been getting snookered on Rogue's Santa's Private Reserve Ale, a most wonderful beer indeed.

Somehow I don't think we have ever reviewed Rogue beers on this blog, but since the stupid search bar doesn't flippin' work, I can't find out (you think I am going to go through all 160 posts to find out? Pfffft). For the uninitiated, Rogue Ales is brewed in Newport, OR, a lovely small town on the coast of Oregon. All kidding aside, the Oregon coast is the awesomest place in America, even more so than Flagstaff, AZ. Definitely go there if you get the chance (the OR coast, not Flagstaff). Rogue has a nice little restaurant that goes along with their brewery, where they serve a mean adult mac n cheese (the macaronis are shaped like dongs). Rogue brews about a jillion beers, many of which can only be found at the brewery itself. 

The Santa's Private Reserve Ale is a copper colored red ale that is similar to their Saint Rogue Red, but the Santa has double the hops, just the way I like it. This beer is excellent, as it has a nice malty and somewhat bitter taste, but its not overwhelming despite the 2x hops. If you like a mild bitterness to your beers, you'll like this one. This is just a great tasting beer, one that you can knock back easily, and get nicely blitzed with its 6.00% ABV. I bet you could have a 12 pack on Christmas Eve and pass out with no problem, then forget to put the presents under the tree and your kids are forever destroyed the next morning. I got a six pack of this at the incredible low price of $6.99 (regular price of $12.99). They were practically giving it away! To make a great situation even better, the heavily bearded hipster working the coffee section at the co-op told me I made a great choice upon buying the Santa's Ale. Compliments and a sale, oh boy!

Hopefully you were a good boy or girl this year, as you'd be grateful to find a sixer of Santa's Private Reserve Ale in your stocking. Unless you'd rather have coal that is, then you're screwed.

Drinkability: 6/10

Taste: 7/10

Value: 8/10

Curb Appeal: 9/10

Overall: 7.5/10

Boon Rawd Brewery – Singha

Singha is coined as the “Original Thai Beer”, it must have been back when they didn’t know much about making beer, and for their sake I hope they haven’t improved the recipe, because it still tastes like shit. But that’s not far from other Asian beers I’ve had. They all seem very medicinal, it’s almost as if people in Asia don’t wanna be drunk. With all the over population of there, I feel id have to be drunk most of the time just to deal with the congestion.

Boon Rawd Brewery was started specifically because the owner realized there weren’t many beers made in Asia, and thought he could profit from it.

They call this a pale lager, it has a nice think frothy head and smells crispy. When you taste it you say to yourself, “Wow, this beer is skunked”, but that’s actually how it’s suppose to taste. I’m guessing the fermented taste is a cultural delicacy. I watch a lot of Bizarre foods with Andrew Zimmern, and all the stuff he eats in Asia consists of fermented fish or bean paste, so fear factor should consider expanding outside the US., Joe Rogan would be a hit out there.

The beer cost me about 4 bucks, ABV is listed at 5%, has a light malt, a sour grassy taste, and a very dry finish. It’s probably not the worst lager out there, but it’s pretty bad.

Drinkability: 4/10
Taste: 3/10
Value: 4/10
Curb Appeal: 4/10

Overall: 3.75/10