Full Pint Brewing Company - Festivus

"A Festivus For the Rest Of Us"

My love of Seinfeld drools over this beer. The label boasts an Aluminum Festivus pole, a dumbbell for the feats for strength and a megaphone for the airing of grievances, I dono what more you can ask for visually, although the artwork is sub par, its cool they even incorporated it in this thing.

So this beer is made by Full Pint outside of Pittsburgh, and in my mind, a really good winter beer. This one is so seasonal they dont even put it on the website, so dont even try lookin. Not much info on the actual brewery out there, but one of the guys was the assistant brewer at North Country in Slippery Rock PA, and now head brewer for Full Pint, and North Country puts out fantastic products, so I'll be trying others from Full Pint.

This is a spiced brown ale, with the typical Christmas spices, slight cinnamon, clove, maybe some ginger, and a pine/mint hop presence. It is well balanced with a strong malt flavor. The flavor was malty with a hint of spice and very good aroma It was 6%, but only a few in a sitting would do it, then I think I'd move to a different taste.

All in all it does justice to being represented with the best tv show in the history of time. For those of you who know the Festivus episode, let me remind you how many things are actually going on in 30 minutes.

1. Festivus
2. H&H bagel Strike
3. Jerry dates a two face
4. Elaine and the denim vest guy
5. The two horse betting gentleman
6. Human Fund donation

...and probably many more


Drinkability: 7/10
Taste: 8/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.75/10

Caledonian Brewery Company's Newcastle Winter IPA

That kind of jerks haven't reviewed Newcastle products yet? The kind of jerks whose incessant babbling you are currently reading.

Newcastle Brewery is owned by Heineken and the beer itself started around the late 1920's. it merged with someone you probably never heard of (because we haven't heard of them) and their shit is brewed in North Yorkshire in John Smith's Brewery (not Pocahontas' boyfriend; but what a babe, hubba hubba). But it was brewed in a few places beforehand and was originally marketed as the blue-collar man's beer; but could you imagine the Boss drinking this? Heck No! In the U.S. is marketed as a pretty trendy beer that jerks and men with popped collars enjoy on a frequent basis as they hit on babes at bars and talk about their mutual funds.

It originally was starter by Willie Younger (who isn't younger anymore) in 1749, which actually makes him older than shit. It was bought by Heineken in 2007 and Willie prompted turned in his grave.

The Winter IPA is available in November through January, like anyone could have guessed. It's got an ABV of 5.2% which is as strong as you were after taking a nap when you were eleven years old. The recipe is as classified as nude pictures of Amelia Earhart. Shooting from the hip, we'll say it has an IBU count in the low 50's. You can definitely taste some hops in there but it is quite mild to say the least. It tastes more like an English bitter or just a traditional winter ale. It has a bitter aftertaste so if you are some bro at the bar talking about your Mutual Funds, you might wanna pop a Breathsaver before feeling up some dame in the back of your Audi. I'd also play a little Steve Winwood. Shit's smoooooth.

The taste is malty enough going down; you not going to be able to necessarily slam these. It has a dry, bitter finish (see above) with a mildly frothy head on it, for an IPA. It's a pretty clean pour with a light amber tone and has some pretty decent carbonation action. It has a bittersweet scent with a touch of caramel.

I paid $17 for 12 of these which is a far cry from cheap or expensive. You can definitely find something better for the price. As far as IPAs are concerned, I would not pick this up if you are looking for a hoppy beer. It shines as far as a bitter aftertaste but the initial taste leaves something to be desired. It's dry finish with guarantee than you are going to want to slam like 15 burritos after a night of these puppies or you'll wake up drier than...you fill in the blank, pervert.


Drinkability: 4/10
Taste: 4/10
Value: 3/10
Curb Appeal: 5/10

Overall: 4.0/10