Bass Brewing Company's Pale Ale

So this is Bass Pale Ale. Bass started up in 1777 by Billy Bass in Trent, England. Shit used to be the highest selling beer in the UK once upon a time. InBev bought them in 2000 and, like all things that got bought by InBev, went right down the shitter.

Bass is known for it red triangle. True story; England's first registered trademark. Bet you didn't know that you dirty liar! It's so gd popular its been used in Picasso stuff and Manet. It's no Monet but, hey, it's something.

Let's talk about black and tans, shall we? We shall. I like Bass on it own, however, where it really stands out is when it's used in black and tans. I find those to be excellent. I try and order them when bars generally have bad selections of beers. A little treat if you will. I used to work with Irish and English guys and it's been embedded in my mind that England on the bottom. That's how I remember which order to go in. Then the stout goes on top, obviously. Don't be a bum about it because you don't want these mixing too much when you pour, ya amateur.

So let's talk about this beer for a change. It's an abnormally smooth pale ale first of all. You could almost mistake it for a amble ale. It's sweet and not bitter at all. It's got a smooth, malty finish and leaves a somewhat dry aftertaste.  The look is cleaner than Columbian cocaine and doesn't leave you all paranoid after an all night rave.

I've always appreciated the old school, non-flashy label of Bass. In a world of 4G phones and flashy pinball machines, I can appreciate the subtlety of this bastardman. It's saying something like "Yeah, I'm cool, ya know?" and you can still get sloppy drunk off of 'em. I like America because we crank the size of our meals and the alcohol in our booze. In England its like 4.0% alcohol but, in typical American fashion, we crank it to 5%. Hey, if Bass wants to compete with PBR it's gotta step its game up son.

Like I said, this is a decent beer on it's own. It's not a head turner but any means, but it;s a fine reliable standby. When mixed with a stout it's fantastic, especially for a dessert. It run about $9 for a sixer, which is a decent deal. I might get bored after 5.5 of them. I'd say...if I was drinking at Chili's or Applebee's or something, I'd order this. I'd probably buy a six pack of this if I was at a 7-11 at like 1:30 in the morning as well.

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 6/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 6.5/10

Ayinger - Bräu Weisse

So first let me start out that if you look at my profile I’m about as much of a hefeweizen fan as I am a fan of DQ's Peanut Buster Parfait, and I HATE the parfait. Sounds crazy I know, but it makes me sick and peanuts are a worthless nuts unless taken from the shell. But, I decided if my reviews are gonna be worth the screen they're written on then I need to dabble in to all styles. I've been sluggin hefe's the past few weeks so here goes.

If you wanna check out some info on Ayinger check out a past review here.

This was Ayinger Bräu Weisse. I'll start by saying the label and cap really make me feel warm inside. I like when a company puts some effort in the cap rather than the standard cap for all their brews, so points for that. Now the beer poured a nice farmy straw color which matches the artwork, with a nice frothy head. I've read that this beer on tap doesn't have the same effect, so for all those Ayinger reps reading this, might wanna educate your customers of proper serving psi. The smell is of citrus and slight banana, and the taste is the same with an addition of vanilla and some mild spice. As most hefe's this has that velvety mouth feel that relates to the style.

This went down fast and I could probably drink a dozen in a row. Really good summer beer, and would be quite refreshing after doing some lawn work.

The ABV is 5.1% and price was free for me from a beer trade at work. I traded some Magic Hats and a couple Yueng's, so I definitely made out on the deal, but I'm assuming 5-6 bones a bottle. Decent deal on a session-able hefe.

Drinkability: 8/10
Taste: 7/10
Value: 6/10
Curb Appeal: 7/10

Overall: 7/10

König Ludwig Weiss Beer

Crank it brah.

This is a beer review of König Ludwig Weiss Beer, the first review of this German brewer.

This beer, like most European breweries, is older than dirt. This particular brewery kicked off in 1260. This date is most notable for when Genghis Khan's grandson conquered Damascus (729 years before Genghis, himself, conquered Oshman's Sporting Goods). The brewery is located in Fürstenfeldbruck and in 1292, this dude, Herzog Rudolf, built up this badass castle there which is still part of the brewery today, though that didn't actually take place there until 1870. It was pretty much just a boring castle for the first 500 years. It got destroyed a handful of time during wars and shit, but rebuilt, destroyed, rebuilt...you get the idea.

The slogan for this beer is "Bier von königlicher Hoheit". At a glance any nerd can tell you this translates to "Beer for Hobbits", but apparently is actually translates to "Beer of the Royal Highness"; though I always thought that was Miller High Life. You learn something new every day.

So these characters brew a handful of libations. Most notably, their Dunkel, Hefeweissen, and Light. I should also mention, whenever you drink "hell" beer; that's German for light. I still would refrain from ordering it in front of your family though so they don't hear all your swears. But this is a review of the Hefeweissen.

So the appearance is pretty self explanatory if you look at the dang picture above. Its relatively clear for a wheat beer. It's got a decent, clean head and about three quarters head on it's shoulders.

The taste is wheaty and dry with a bitter after taste. It's dryness doesn't really leave your mouth for a while and I feel I could really whistle after polishing off a few of these bad boys. The babe behind the counter tossed a lemon in there which I found to be delightful. I should mention that I rode my bike a few miles to this place and I really needed to wet my whistle. This stuff went down real easy and was real light and hit the spot like I can't even explain.

It wasn't the cheapest beer in the world, go figure, and cost $7 for half a liter, but you can get a 6-pack of 11.2ozers for $9. Would I spend $7 for another, probably not. But I would definitely pick up a sixer on the run. The label is old school and regal as shit; so people would know you're legit when you roll up with some of this stuff. It's got a 5.5% ABV and is so easy to crush you'll probably get hellawasted off of 12 beers in 10 minutes; especially if it's hot out.

Drinkability: 9.0/10
Taste: 9.0/10
Value: 4.0/10
Curb Appeal: 7.0/10

Overall: 7.25

Blatant Brewery's Blatant IPA

Crank the crap outta this mother!

This is the first review of a beer brewed from Blatant Brewery. This brewery is currently located in Williamsburg, Massachusetts. It was founded by Matthew Steinberg 2010 after 15 of so extensive years of brewing beers at other micros in the tri-state area. The brewery itself prides itself of it artisan values and samples each of their ingredients before brewing. This is probably pretty easy since they only have 2 major beers, the Blatant IPA and their Session Blonde Ale.  They'll come out with other stuff here and there such as their double imperial IPA but is few and far between. The double was a result of their one-year anniversary and is harder to come across than a sailor coming across the clap when he ports.

First thing you will notice about this beer is that it's cloudier than shit; thick as pea soup! It's got a half inch white head to it. Contrary to the sight, this is a surprisingly smooth taste. Not a gritty, sediment consistency. There is a heavy hop to it but it's a IPA you turkey, of course it'll be hoppy. It hits the charts at 65 IBUs which is deceiving because it tastes like it'd be higher.  It has a pretty dry finish to it and a sour aftertaste. The bottle itself has some nice curb appeal to it, simple and subtle. If you are drinking this under a bridge, all of the other bums will be like "Who's this classy-ass bum with his fancy swill?" and you will inevitably get knifed in your sleep because they will think you got some killer-ass shit in your shopping cart. I actually got this on draft to avoid that complication and it ran me $6 but everything else at the bar was within a dollar of that so the entire place was a little pricey. It's got a ABV of 6.5% so it isn't the weakest girl at scout camp.

Overall this is a great IPA. It goes down pretty smooth and is great for a hot day. It's not nearly as heavy as it looks but is so bitter that you might have issues downing a sixer. It would be good to try out a double deuce or split a sixer with a pal, if you have any pals.

Drinkability: 7.0/10
Taste: 7.0/10
Value: 4.0/10
Curb Appeal: 7.0/10

Overall: 6.25