Rivertown Babbling Blonde

Rivertowne is a Pittsburgh-based brewery that has four brewpub and pourhouse locations in the greater Pittsburgh area. I've had the pleasure of getting drunk at their North Shore location before a Pitt game before, the food was solid, the atmosphere was fun, blah blah blah. But what happened on April 27, 2011 will not soon be forgotten. I was handed a bottle of Babbling Blonde, an allegedly crisp, malty ale, for consumption during a Pens playoff game. The superstitious idiot in me saw this as an ample opportunity to sway things in the Penguins direction, because it was from Pittsburgh, and I buy into shit like that quite often. What I experienced was 12 oz of disappointment and about as much effort put into the bottling of this beer as the Pirates put into a game on a mid-August afternoon.

Let me preface this by saying that this had to be some sort of bottling malfunction. The experience I had upon opening this bottle does in no way reflect the experience I had while boozing at one of their locations. I cracked the bottle open and smelled something that screamed "mow your lawn, deadbeat". It allegedly presents a light yellow to deep color and a mild malty flavor, something common for the American Blonde Ale. What I got after the first sip was a mouth explosion of foam that continued to spew from the bottle and my face all over the porch and front yard. I chalked it up to a prank, but after investigation, the beer was in the fridge for ample time to settle. I decided to pour it into a glass, like real beer snobs do, but the glass promptly filled with more foam (we're talkin about 5% beer to 95% head). The price runs about 24 bucks/case, which offers some value from a craft, especially at the 5.3% APV, but both of those are moot points when you just get blasted in the face with a bunch of foam. Rivertowne, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. And we know that's way worse.

Drinkability: 0/10
Taste: 2/10
Value: 5/10
Curb Appeal: 0/10

Overall: It's less than a 1. I'm not going to bore you with decimal details.